Hey Ron! - My Boss Is a Dick
The working man needs his respite, and if he doesn’t get it things can get a little crazy. This is something Ron knows very well and doesn’t take for granted. That’s why he is more than qualified to advise this week’s troubled reader about how to take his vacation without being hassled by his loudmouthed, pig-headed boss.
My boss is giving me a really hard time about taking three days of vacation at the end of the month. I told him last month, but he didn’t say anything about it until last week. I’ve already bought my plane ticket and booked a room, and I’m pretty sure my girl will dump me if I bail this late in the game. He hasn’t threatened to fire me yet (and even if he does I’m pretty sure I can sue him—I’m on salary), but he’s just being a super dickface and making me stay late. How do I get him off my back?
I’m about to take a two-week vacation to Vegas. When I mentioned that I was going for two weeks to my boss, he came at me. He didn’t say nothing too harsh, but he was all “Why two weeks?” Because it’s my time. I’m entitled to two damn weeks. I want my two damn weeks. You want your 40 hours, you get your 40 hours! Don’t tell me what I can’t have but you can have; that’s not working. I will take my two weeks, and if your boss keeps saying whatever he’s saying, just ignore him. You take your damn two weeks. I mean, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m going on vacation and there’s no way in hell somebody is going to tell me I’m not going. Period.
Enjoy your two weeks.
If he fires you then you better bring your Uzi to work because that’ll be the only way of getting your payback. I understand. You bust your butt, you work hard, you want to take your two weeks, and they’re making you feel guilty. I wouldn’t feel guilty. Not even close.
If you come back and he doesn’t fire you but he’s still giving you crap, then he’s going to have to give you crap while you’re sitting there with a tan. So what do you care? You got a tan and you’re relaxed. Let him mouth off. Let him sound like Charlie Brown for the next two weeks. He’ll get over it. You know who Charlie Brown is, right? Wahwahwah.
As for my vacation, I’m hoping to come back from Vegas sperm free. Joking! I’m going to visit some family, and I’m hoping to just have a good time. I’ve never experienced Vegas, so it will be exciting. If I find a rich white chick I’ll probably move there. It’s hot there, but so was Africa and we stayed there. We didn’t ask to leave. Always remember your history, boy! We didn’t ask to leave.
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