Hey Ron! - My Boyfriend Believes In Time Travel
Time travel is something we’ve all thought about at one time or another. But the ability to mend past wrongs or discover how everything will turn out in the end is something most of us recognize as a fantasy. This week Ron received a letter from a troubled young lady whose boyfriend actually believes that time travel exists, and that tourists from the future walk among us everyday, hidden in the disguises of contemporary fashion. Luckily, our man Ron has heard it all, so it’s no surprise he has the perfect levelheaded advice for this peculiar problem.
I’ve been dating this guy for six years, and we’ve even talked about marriage. In general our relationship is pretty OK, but we rarely have sex, and he’s starting to question me about my religious values. As in, he’s gotten caught up in some weird new age shit and wishes I would follow his lead. Also, he seriously believes in time travel. The other day, he asked if I could carve information for people of the future on stone tablets and put them in the special collections library at my university. He told me people from the future are with us all the time, but we don’t recognize them because of their disguises. I feel like I’m going crazy. Should I just dump him? Or try to help?
Want some advice from Ron? Email here.
Dear Seriously Confused,
First of all, why does he want you to carve the messages into stone tablets? Where do y’all live, Bedrock? What’s wrong with writing on paper? Personally, I don’t see time travel happening anytime soon unless you count the time saved travelling by car or by plane as opposed to walking. That’s the only type of traveling I can see people doing.
As far as him and this cult thing—that’s what I’d call it, I don’t know if you prefer to call it religion—but whatever he’s following, if they believe we live among aliens and space travel, then you’ve got to stop second-guessing yourself and realize you’re in a bad situation that’s only going to get worse. You’re not having sex, so that means he’s putting something else as a priority. Probably time travel. Maybe he’s getting it when he goes through time to someplace else, but he’s not getting it from you. Let’s face it, he’s having sex in the future, so he doesn’t need it in the present.
Frankly, I find this hilarious. If I was dating some girl and she started talking to me like that I would slowly start packing my bags in the middle of the night and leave because the lady is nuts. So I advise you to just pack up one night and find a new place to go.
It’s obvious that he slowly became this way, or you would never have been with him in the first place. I don’t know why he changed, maybe you’re not holding his attention enough, so he has to daydream a lot--to the point where he’s actually believing what he’s thinking. I think you should just back off and let him go. He’s definitely going in a different direction than you are, and if you’re not willing to follow his lead, why stay another six years? Bounce.
It sounds like this guy has some major issues to work through if he’s thinking that people are walking around from the future wearing disguises. I watch a lot of science fiction movies, so I know that stuff’s crazy. I recently started watching this show called Fairscape. It’s pretty good. It was done by Jim Henson, the guy who did the Muppets. I was watching it until they took it off of Netflix. So anybody watching Netflix knows about Fairscape. I got up to season 3.
But to the main point--you know how I know for sure that your man is crazy and hasn’t ever travelled through time? Because he’s not rich and famous. If I could travel back in time I would now own Atlantic City. I would now own Vegas. There wouldn’t be Donald Trump, there would be Ron Trump. It would be all about the money. I would cash in. We would be a dictatorship and we would have one almighty dictator. It would be me.
Ron can help you too! Email him your problems.