Hey Simon Cowell, Piss Off with Your DJs

So a bunch of turntablists are presumably up-in-arms about Simon Cowell buying into their subculture. He's announced that he's going to be launching an X Factor type of thing, but for DJs. I mean, how long is it going to be before he's macking onto the other four disciplines of hip-hop: graffiti, rap, breakdancing and shoes?

Will Smith and his weird emo wife are also involved in the deal. They are also, you must imagine, the poor people who nearly expired from cringe as Simon Cowell shuffled up to them at a party and explained that he could see a big future in rap music, now that Cher Lloyd had broken down the barriers.

But hey! DJs, don't just sit there crying onto your decks! I know you're upset that the mainstream is trying to co-opt your artform, but now is not the time to go down quietly! Pack up your Michael Viner's Incredible Bongo Band records, turn your cap to rap-o'clock, sharpen your needles, polish your vinyl and go and throw all that stuff off a bridge. Then, instead of being a pompous embarrassment, read this article VICE wrote long before you were born about WHY DJING IS CRAP.

It's called: Hey DJ, Fuck You!

@terriblesoup