I'll dress up you see! I wonder who I'll be?

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

Even though I know nothing about Anime (my knowledge of nerd culture extends about as far as knowing the words to "My Hands" by Leona Lewis), going to the conventions is one of my favourite things on earth. I went to one the London Anime League a couple of days ago. For some reason I get super scared every time I go to one of these things. I'm always convinced that someone is going to recognise me as an outsider and end-scene-of-Invasion of the Body Snatchers me.

There were lots of little Japanese-y touches around the venue. Like the official program was written left to right, which was cute. But is this sign written in Engrish on purpose? That might be a little too far.

Oh, and speaking of too far. What's with nerds and Pocky? Have you ever tried those things? They taste about as good as any biscuit you could get at Tesco for 30p but are about 20 times as expensive. I thought you guys were supposed to be smart?

There were a bunch of different activities scheduled throughout the day. This was taken during the "cosplay auction". Which is kind of like those bachelor auctions they have in sitcoms, only with nerds. There weren't that many bids. Maybe combining the two things that nerds fear the most, (public speaking and interacting with the opposite sex), wasn't a great idea.

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" *This is an internet joke*

Most of the costumes went over my head. But some of the ones I did recognise were pretty epic.

An Anime-loving Buffy vampire.

A bouncer at G-A-Y.

Jared Leto in that movie about the guy who killed Lennon.

Amber from Clueless, Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton.

Beyonce.

Later in the day there was some kind of improv comedy RPG battle. It was the raunchiest thing I've ever seen. Every single word spoken was sexual. It got so bad at one point that the judge, (who was WAY too cool to be there, he even beatboxed "Drop it Like it's Hot" at one point), banned all sexual jokes. The above picture is of two girls kissing. I'm not sure why. But look at the judges faces!

You can laugh all you want at cosplayers, but they are way way more hardcore than you might thing. Would you have the balls to go in to a fried chicken shop in North London dressed like this? Also, I heard one girl telling a story about getting her head stuck in a mask and almost dying.

And check this out. It was so hot, that the only way people could stay in costume was to huddle under the AC.

My main reason for going to these things is the party they have at the end. They're SO GOOD. You know when toddlers dance and they don't really have any rhythm or care how they look, they're just moving as many parts of their body as fast as they can? Well imagine a room with 100 adults doing that. Only it's to music that sounds like this and they're all holding giant swords.

But guess what? The party never happened! This is about as rowdy as the party room got. Everyone started leaving the venue at about 7pm. I asked a girl why, and she said it was because Dr Who was on that night. I'm not sure if she was fucking with me or not. So I'll leave you with an excerpt from a cosplay-themed song that was printed in the program. It's to be sung to the tune of the Pokemon theme.

I'm gonna make a great costume,
Like no-one ever saw,
I will make something by hand
Won't buy it from a store.
I will travel across the land,
To go to an expo.
I'll look classy,
I'll look grand
I won't look like a ho!