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Internet Education:Gay Spells, Rap Music, Lakes

By DON CASTER

I never had much of an education, so these days I'm catching up with the information commons that is the internet. I hear that it's where kids are doing most of their learning these days. That's probably a healthy thing right? Here's what I learnt this week.

1. EXTREME GAY SPELLS ARE HUMANITARIAN

I like the idea of spending 200 dollars on a magic spell to help someone overcome society's issue with them being your gay lover. After all, it's something they "really and truly want," even if they don't know it, or want it. There's also an excellent Adult Spells section. For example, "Make Lisa attack me sexually when no-one is looking."

GET YOUR GAY MAGIC HERE

2. NORTHERN PUB RAP IS A DIFFICULT GENRE TO NAIL

I'm not sure what to do when I watch this video. It doesn't make any sense. I can't figure out what their motivations are. When I watch it, I find myself involuntarily moving away from the computer.

3. FLAGS ARE A COMPETITION

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This website cheers me up a great deal. However, not nearly as much as it will cheer up Gambians when they discover that they have the very best flag in the entire world" "Great design and colour choice. Also represents the geography of the country (without being a map)," say the judges. There are also a surprising number of flags with guns on them.

THE UPS AND DOWNS OF INTERNATIONAL FLAG LIVE HERE

4. LOW-FIDELITY COMPUTER COMPOSITIONS HAVE THEIR USE

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Apparently, this website is able to randomly generate musical compositions in a wide variety of styles. It doesn't really work in any way at all, but it does produce some pretty challenging results. I like seeing how long I can listen to a "jazz" one for, it's like being in hell.

GET YOUR CRAP FAKE MUSIC HERE

5. LAKE FACTS ARE VERY NEARLY FUN