Is This Really What Rock and Roll Has Become in 2012?

So, we're all agreed, then: Rock music has spent the last decade at least dying a very slow death, but it can console itself with the fact that it dominated the 20th century more than anything else. It beat back communism, held back capitalism and gave every teenager born between Hitler's war and "Al's War" the means to piss off their parents.

But as the saying goes, every generation gets the band it deserves. And where once there stood/ spat/ spasmed/ swaggered Messrs Cash, Strummer, Curtis and Gallagher, it's now 2012, and we have this:

Rock of Ages, a West End musical starring X-Factor's Shayne Ward and hatred's Justin Lee Collins, featuring the music of Bon Jovi, Twisted Sister, Journey and Styx. It’s also just been made into a film with Tom Cruise in it, which is a punchline in itself, so I won't try to better it.
 
Admittedly, I've never seen Rock of Ages, and I understand that it's honed in on one particular era of rock music, but is this really what "rock" is now in the public psyche? All that noise and vitality and those shades of emotional grey reduced to a guy who cried on national TV because he had to shave his beard off singing show tunes to pensioners? Is this how we remember rock music in 2012? What about Morrissey's bike gang? Wilko Johnson's scowl? What about Crass? I went down to Shaftesbury Avenue in London to check if the Rock of Ages audience could remember what rock and roll was. Anne, 58, sales manager (left) and Graham, 56, works for Camden council. VICE: Hey! Are you guys into rock music?
Graham: I am, definitely. What bands do you like?
Kiss, but mostly just all of them. Def Leppard, the Stones. The new bands are not quite… What?
Anne: As good as the 80s ones. Oh no. Which bands aren't as good?
Graham: Well, it's all this Oasis-type stuff. I can't be bothered with it. Do you think a West End musical with Justin Lee Collins can be truly reflective of rock music as a whole?
It's difficult to say, really – who knows what went on back then?
Anne: All sorts, I'd imagine.

Hey. What brings you here today?
Baker: My son lives in London and my wife visited him six weeks ago. I says to my wife, "Baby, when you go to London, look for a musical that suits our children." The other day, I get a phone call – it's my wife. And she says, "This iiiiis great!" Cool story.
OK well, there's like, 52 kids here, why do you want to talk to me? Because you have the wisdom, Baker. Carol, 51 and Paul, 53, both company directors. Have you always been big fans of rock?
Paul: Absolutely. Anyone in particular?
Genesis, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin…

…Queen?
We LOVE Queen! Did you ever see Queen?
Not Queen, no. I went to Milton Keynes Bowl once, I can't remember what year it was, but Genesis were playing and Peter Gabriel turned up. He'd already left the band at that point, you see, so it was pretty big news at the time.

Do you still rock?
Carol: Yeah… y'know, we're into Simply Red, Rumer.
Paul: My son's in a signed band, they tour with the Lostprophets. Maureen and Jo (ages withheld). Hey, are you guys into 80s rock?
Both: Yes.
Maureen: Very much, all those… The Beatles, everything. Loved it. Right. OK. Do you think Rock of Ages will honour the 80s rock years?
We hope it will.
Jo: And I love Shayne Ward. I rooted for him all the way on The X-Factor. Stan, 65, investment manager from the US. Have you really come all the way from the US to see this show?
Stan: Absolutely, yes! Love the show, it's a great show. I grew up on this, man. I'm from LA, this is my stuff.

What bands did you go see?
Oh… like… errr, Love, The Stones, The Beatles. Great stuff. I used to sneak into the Hollywood Bowl. My favourite band was The Beatles. Is Rock of Ages a good representation of how it was "back in the day"?
Yes. For a certain period of time in rock music. Do I think it does it justice? Yeah, I think it does. It shows what it was like. But what about all the drugs and fucking, Stan?
Well I'd say it's actually fairly accurate. Really? Are there drugs and fucking in the musical?
No, not at all! But you can intimate it.

Caj, 43 and Al, 55. Are you big fans of rock music?
Caj: When I was younger, sure. Who did you like?
Al: Genesis.
Caj: Queen. Does Rock of Ages represent rock music?
Caj: Yes, I think so, for the 70s and 80s. Was rock and roll genuinely like that for 20 whole years, though? It seems a bit cartoony.
[long pause] Probably. Vivian, 56, "housewife superstar" and David, 64, kitchen fitter. Has there been a highlight in your Rock of Ages experience so far?
Vivian: Oooooooooh, him [points at poster]… Who's that?
Simon Lipkin. Simon Lipkin What's his character?
He sort of runs through it… He sings as well. Are you guys big into rock?
Oh yeah. Who have you been to see?
David: Queen, Paul Rogers, Dire Straits. Great. Is the show living up to the golden days of rock?
I'm glad they're doing it. All the music now is just too manufactured. Rock music is very individual. And a big budget West End musical franchise will make that point?
It'll introduce rock to a younger generation. There's gotta be rock bands. I have a lot of friends in the business who deserve to be in a band, but nobody will listen to them. What kinda music?
Well, it's rock, you know? Heavy guitar. So you think that Rock of Ages will get more kids into guitar music?
I think it could be a breakthrough. Mike, 60ish and Carol, a bit less than 60, both retired. VICE: Hey guys! How was the show?
Mike: It was very good. Any highlights?
The singing. Oh really?
The lead singer is tremendous. I think the music is generally very, very good. Does it do justice to the glory days?
Oh yeah. Our son's friend came to see it and said it was fantastic. That's why we're here! What kind of bands were you into in your youth?
That kind of music. You'll have to be a little more specific.
I wouldn't really say any favourites, 'cos we all like rock and roll, don't we? Everyone here is a rocker at heart. Any favourite gigs you've been to?
Well, we've been to see Rod Stewart loooads of times. Elvis was alright. Can you include Whitesnake?

I guess you just did.

Follow Josh on Twitter: @joshuahaddow

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