Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill
ERIC CLAPTON ROBOT SEEN DOING ITS OWN LAUNDRY
Last week, TMZ posted a video of noted musical racist Eric Clapton doing his laundry in what looks like LA. But I'm sure it's actually somewhere in the Germanic world, because I know Eric "England is for white people. We are a white country" Clapton wouldn't be enough of a hypocrite to move on to Uto-Aztecan turf. But anyway, this is a video of him doing his laundry. OR SO WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO THINK.
God, you are so fucking naive. I bet you're one of those morons that believed the blog we put up last week to cover our asses after we accidentally revealed we knew all about 9/11. He isn't doing his laundry. That's not even him, what you're seeing there is quite clearly a robotic imposter (or one who is of some nature spiritual) that has been sent to do laundry as a signal for a sleeper cell in a motel room to initiate the next stage in the plan. Eric Clapton wouldn't even pick up his own laundry, let alone wipe his own ass. Don't be such a Scully.
BELARUS WOULD LIKE YOU TO JOIN THEIR ARMY
Have you ever seen a UK army recruitment ad? It's basically: "You might die, but you'll get to learn a really fucking boring skill like how to be an electrician. Totes worth it." They should take a few pointers from Belarus, who know EXACTLY how to appeal to the average man: Mixed gender dance-offs, blowing shit up, Babushkas that cry invisible tears, and socialising with girls that dress like Paris Hilton at a business meeting in 2003. Spike my vodka tonic and sign me up!
FINAL BOSS OF THE INTERNET DISCOVERED
And I'll leave you with this. I fucking hate the internet. I've literally spent 2 hours watching this and trying to work out if it's for real or not. I'm pretty sure it's real. Nobody is that dedicated to lulz, right? It has enough insane brilliance to make 100,000 viral videos. There's no way I could even begin to make fun of this thing. I'm just gonna leave it here and go hyperventilate until I fall asleep. Good night.