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Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

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WITH METAL, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

Whenever some sort of mass act of insanity (like Jonestown or The Holocaust) happens, my first thought is "how the fuck did that many people end up doing something so crazy?", and that's my initial thought watching this too. There are at least 10 people "expressing" their "unique qualities" here. And that doesn't include teachers and parents who, not only did nothing to stop these kids from doing (AND FILMING) this, but also appear to be encouraging it by allowing them to expose children as young as five to their shit music propaganda.

AND WITH SEX, ANYTHING IS SELLABLE

Are you a horny moron with a few million pounds lying around? Then I have found the PERFECT house for you. In these tough economic times, I know I couldn't make a house a home unless I knew for absolutely certain that an attractive girl had been used as a misogynistic marketing tool inside of it. Oh, and can a kitchen be gourmet?

FATHER OF IDIOT GIVES SEXIST ADVICE

Hey dad, does the thought of your daughter getting herself raped and murdered (silly cow) just make you SICK? Well this is the book for you. Just fill your little princess' head with this insane, sexist garbage and in no time you could have a daughter as incredible as the author's: A wonderful young lady who was one of the key players in a scheme to get a low-income advocacy group who had done nothing wrong shut down. And isn't that every father's dream?

PS: What is it with Christians and that font?

THE LIFE OF A FAILED AUTHOR IS A LOT LESS GLAMOROUS THAN YOU MIGHT THINK

And lastly, lets check back in with one of my favourite people: Dead eyed euro-dater Katherine Chloe Kahoon. If you're like me, all of those profile pieces you've been reading about Katherine in high-end newspapers like The Bellevue Reporter had made you believe that her life had become an orgy of shopping trips, twirling around in ballgowns and pixellated photos of the Hollywood Sign. But the reality is FAR FROM that! It's actually an orgy of "taking care of business", spelling mistakes, wandering around LA in a dazed state and making unwarranted advertisements for cupcake shops. Thanks for clearing that up Katherine!

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete 2 years ago
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