Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill
PEACEFUL PROTEST BROKEN UP WITH TOTALLY UNPEACEFUL BRUTE FORCE
I know, these guys were just dancing and AmeriKKKa is turning into a totalitarian police state and blah blah blah, but a flash mob (aka the lamest fucking things on the entire planet) being broken up by a spontaneous public outburst of police brutality is still kinda funny, right?
WOMAN DECIDES "LAUGHING STOCK" IS PREFERABLE TO "CRAPPY HOUSEWIFE"
I'm sure there are lots of things to be said about this video, but true internet gold almost never happens, so I'm pacing myself with this one. So far I've made it to the end of "I'm a little pretty girl, trapped inside a grownup's body". If that's anything to go by I am in for a TREAT.
WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL SPORT DISCOVERED
When I die, can somebody make sure that I get a viking burial in a lake while this guy 'freestyle canoes' to "Lady in Red" around my burning body please? Thanks.
YUMMY MUMMYS FIGHT TO RECLAIM "MILF"
You guys know what a MILF is, right? WRONG:
Like the gays and the blacks before them, the women of the "Yummy Mummy club" (typing that made me dry heave) are reclaiming the word. If you would like to add your own suggestion, you can go here and do it. Unfortunately they delete anything that isn't made up of Oprah buzzwords though. I tried. Believe me.
CHET HAZE DROPS NEW TRACK
Remember Chet Haze? Remember how he was Tom Hanks' son and he was a rapper? And remember how, when you heard him spit lines like "step to me, get beat down like Rodney King" you thought "Poor Tom. There is no profession his son could have picked that would have been more humiliating for him than this"? Well, you were wrong:
At least Tom probably hasn't heard enough rap to understand just how bad at it his son is, but he will have undoubtedly been exposed to enough spoofs of early noughties boybands on SNL to comprehend how much of a steaming turd pile this "song" is.
Also, I spotted Chet (in the white shirt) sitting behind Oprah during her big farewell show last week. I bet she's the only real life black friend he has.