Stuff

Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

RIGHT-WING FILM STUDIO ATTEMPTS TO SCARE A GENERATION OF WOMEN OUT OF GETTING ABORTIONS

Not sure about you, but if anything is going to make me choose to not get an abortion, it's a shoddily produced seven-years-too-late Hostel rip-off.

And is that creepy guy sitting at the desk supposed to be God? God sure does sound like Mickey Rourke. I guess the difference is that He possesses the infinite wisdom to not let anyone see his face.

"CRIPPLES NEED LOVE TOO"

Even though this was recorded using a webcam, you can barely make out what she's saying and she's using a machine to breathe, this is still a billion times better than the last Lil' Kim album.

"I can't even move my fricken' knees / but I still kick it all day," and other lyrics we're too uncomfortable to re-up can be found at CrippleWithSwag's YouTube channel.

KATY PERRY STARS IN SERIES OF COMEDY SHORTS

I'm not entirely sure why these exist, but Katy Perry has made a series of "comedy" videos starring her 14-year-old "alter ego" Kathy Beth Terry. Whoever it was that told her these were a good idea, whether you were trolling or not, you're my hero.

KATHERINE CHLOE CAHOON DISCOVERS RARE EUROPEAN BREED OF SHRIMP WITH EYES

I promised myself I would never post another Katherine Chloe Cahoon video here as I might have, MAYBE slightly overdone it with them in the past. But she uploaded a new one almost a week ago and it only has 500 views. 500! I feel a sad sort of obligation to help her out, and besides, I like this one, it's a sinister departure from her usual style. The music and the editing and the start made me feel like she was reading to me from Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.