Lame London Cosplay

This weekend I went to the London Film and Comic Con. Which is a bit like those other big comic cons that you've actually heard of, but smaller and based in London. Here are some things I saw:

I could post a whole blog of images like the one above, but nerds get a hard enough time already. Contributing to the endless internet campaign of bullying those least capable of defending themselves wouldn't really make me feel too good about myself. So, for the most part, this blog is not going to be about lame cosplayers.

Everyone likes a printed canvas, right? Especially one with a picture of Sloth from The Goonies with an anachronistic internet gag on it.

I'm not sure if you've ever been to one of these things before. But they have celebrities on-site throughout the day that you can pay to sign stuff for you. Which is pretty grim and awkward. At this event prices ranged from £10 (for someone from Hellraiser I'd never heard of) to £35 (for A-listers like, er, the dude from Highlander). This is the very small guy who played R2D2 in the Star Wars movies with a very small bottle of wine.

Corey Feldman gave a "presentation" at one point. I went expecting an onstage meltdown, but he was disappointingly sane. He spent most of it talking about this thing called "Birthday 4.0" that he'd "invented". The gist of it was that he was having four different birthday parties for his 40th birthday, climaxing with a big party at the Playboy club in Vegas. I will give you a squillion pounds if you can think of a more depressing place/time combination than the Playboy Club, Las Vegas during Corey Feldman's 4th consecutive 40th birthday party.

And here he is up close. Can you fucking believe he looks like this? Just out of frame is a stack of CDs by his 9/11-conspiracy rock band Truth Movement. He must have also just seen through the nicotine industry conspiracy, too, because he was chain-"smoking' electronic cigarettes. If you wanna order some, use the promo code COREY at checkout, and you'll get $3 off.

This is 46-year-old Vivica Fox (star of every movie I have ever liked ever) getting a back rub from her 26-year-old boyfriend after an exhausting day of earning thousands of pounds writing her name on stuff. Would it be racist for me to say "you go girl"?

From what I could tell, Tom Sizemore (who, you will recall, had a sex tape in which he cried, ate-out a prostitute, and laughed about policemen dying) had picked this girl up at the convention. I can't even begin to imagine the types of things that are going to happen to her once they get back to his hotel. Poor girl.

As a paraplegic who looks almost exactly like Patrick Stewart, I wonder how sick this guy is of dressing as Professor X?

I can't work out if it's OK for this guy to be making this Christopher Reeves joke or not.

Wow, that was a short blog. I guess there really isn't much to write about a comic convention if you're not making fun of people's outfits. So, if you're still hungry for that kind of thing, the photo above should be more than enough inspiration. Go nuts in the comments beneath, if you're that heartless.

LARGE MARGE