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Missed Connection: I want Olivia to touch my Banana

By VICE Staff

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david

Yesterday you read all about our 15th anniversary party we held on Halloween that made people's faces bleed, brains bubble, and genitals engorge. It was a gift of sorts to our ever-adoring readers and fans, but today we're asking for a present from you guys in the form of some assistance in tracking down one lovely Irish lassie named Olivia who our former online operations guy fell in love with at said party.

The guy in the banana costume above is David Flynn. He worked here up until a few months ago when he decided that being an ad-serving geekface wasn't really working out for him and made a career change that involves lots of construction work and hitting the gym nine days a week (he also says he's moving to France to be a concierge at a gay hotel, but we'll believe that when we see it).

Anyway, along with the rest of the party's attendees he was a tad inebriated when he finally staggered out of the gates and headed to Mug's Alehouse off Bedford Avenue with the mysterious Olivia. He doesn't remember many more details other than she was a "brunette who was beautiful and fun" and that he completely blew what seemed like a sealed deal by getting belligerently drunk and putting her in a cab back home to the Upper West Side (at least that's where he thinks she went).

Our suitor also forgets exactly what Olivia's costume was but believes she was wearing a brightly colored dress that was predominately red. Olivia, if you're out there, Flynn claims that he would consider carving out at least a couple of hours from his extensive squat-thrust/pole-vault regime to take you out to nice dinners and write haikus about your stunning essence. Of course there is a chance that this is all a delusion or wet dream David had after he left the party, but we're giving him the benefit of the doubt and putting the word out. If anyone knows a hot Irish woman named Olivia who lives in New York, send us an email.

By VICE Staff 3 years ago
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