NEW YORK - GIRL CORNER

By viceland

So the “holiday” hits and suddenly we find out who’s a class-cutter and who's dedicated to ditching their families in order to stay in the office and work. And holy shit! It’s basically all ladies here today. We’re really not missing the usual witty banter about video games, going out, eating food, and having/spending money; actually, we’re frantically trying to take advantage of this “safe space” by sponsoring a proactive Girl Corner.

So today we’re painting our nails, spraying perfume, intellectualizing Beyonce's new video, flipping through magazines, and gossiping about dudes' really bad come-ons. "You know, Estee Lauder is such a grandma make-up company but they have really good perfumes." Astute observation, sister! Oh look, another one of us just walked over. “Menses period gang bang pheromones estrogen!” she exclaimed. Anything less free-associative to share, fellow vagina-haver? “Um, I have these two breasts and sometimes when I cough they move.” Sweet.

Oh shit, an ad guy just walked in. Resume dead silence. He put on his headphones, but still, it’s over. At least we still have online quizzes.

JENNI ANAHILL

By viceland 3 years ago Like · Comment · Share