NEW YORK - MAGICKAL UNCONTROLLED SUBSTANCE

By viceland

People tend to crap on home remedies but you know what? Gnarly-tasting witch concoctions always work better than any FDA-approved bubblegum flavored pellet. All medical science has given us is some decent pain-killers and a wagonload of placebos. I get sick like nobody’s business all the time—my immune system is such
an asshole that I’ve gone for HIV testing a zillion times just to be
sure it’s not from AIDS, and I'm clean as a whistle. This amateurish spray bottle of goddess-knows-what (OK fine,
the laser-print label says it’s just herbs and vegetable glycerine) may feel like my throat’s being cauterized with
hippie sweat, but it chases off illness better than anything in a pristine, regulated, germ-free Capsule-Pak. I can’t say for sure it’s made by witches but I have my hunches—it comes from a wildcrafting herbal school in upstate New York, and you know all that stuff is connected to earth magick. Plus witches are really secretive about everything they’re doing so of course they’re not going to advertise their Book of Shadows on the internet. But wouldn't it be rad if they did?
STACY ANN FEATHERS