NEW YORK - THE LAW OF RETURNS

By viceland

It's sweet how the law of returns can come back to fuck you. Take, for instance, that massive, soul-terror of a coal ash spill in Eastern Tennessee thanks to the Kingston Fossil Plant, which is now estimated to be 5.4 million cubic yards of nastiness, three times more intense than originally reported. Let's go back and revisit Toxic West Virginia, where we learned that the fastest way to get your grubby hands on a pile of coal is to blow up mountains. And now the waste from coal has turned back into mountains... of fucking wet ash in people's back yards that possibly contains dangerous levels of mercury and carcinogens and things that make your babies come out looking like fish. But don't worry, says a spokeswoman for the Tennessee Valley Authority--probably the water is fine. Probably. Probably you'd have to actually ingest it to get sick. Oh, so like, you'd have to eat anything that comes from the contaminated ground? Or eat a product from an animal that ate what came from the contaminated ground? Good thing the state's largest edible crop is soybeans. It's not like anyone eats that shit.