NEW YORK - THE MORNING SPEWS

By viceland

On the way into work today a couple of us noticed this garbage bag full of smaller bags full of something. The boys guessed dog dookie, but every girl we showed it to said it was puke in bags and we think they’re right no matter how brown it looks (we tried to figure it out by smell, but it was just sort of generically gross). It’s basic logic: Bulimics who have roommate situations and can't always puke in the toilet will puke in bags, store the bags up, and then throw them out all at once. You remember that MTV thing with the plastic tub full of vomit in that girl’s closet? Same deal. Now, tell us this, who in the hell saves up dog shit? Even if you were extremely lazy, you’d just leave it on the ground, and even if you were really into your dog’s shit you presumably wouldn’t dump it on the street in an untied garbage bag. So anyways: Barf. Case closed, right?