New York - Vegemite vs. my hangover
An Australian friend of mine just brought me this “Snackabout” from her baffling homeland. It’s basically the Dunkaroo’s drunken, casually racist cousin. And while my friend readily admits that Vegemite is the foulest substance her countrymen put in their mouths outside of bugs, she also claims that it can kill the most crippling hangover with a single yeasty smear.
I’m kind of suspicious that this hangover cure may work in the same way that breaking your finger “works” as anesthetic for a bullet wound, but right now it feels like a garbage truck is hauling my intestines through my brains, so I’m willing to take what I can get. Here goes…
Verdict: Wait a minute, this is it? This is what everybody’s spazzing about? This shit tastes great! Fine, maybe not “great,” but at least “decent” or “reasonable”. Based on all the reports I’d received from non-Australians I assumed I was about to subject my mouth to a flavor just short of dogarrhea, but this just tastes like someone crushed up Cheezits into some ground taco meat. Aka pretty all right.
On the hangover front, I just downed another cracker-full and already the “all clear” burps are coming through loud and proud. Actually I feel really good right now. It’s possible that all this is the result of the teensy adrenaline surge it took to get the load of paste into my mouth, but I like to think that the brewer’s yeast it’s made from enacts some sort of hasty “hair-of-the-dog” agreement with the intestinal tract upon entry. Really, the only improvement I’d suggest right now is if they could make it spicy. Or “sharp.”
Anyways, I’ll keep you posted with updates as the day goes on, but for the time being I would like to officially declare all denigrators of Vegemite to be culinary baby-men and the country of Australia to be slightly less abominable than I previously believed. Although this still does not resolve the fact that their most popular cheese is called Tasty Coon.