What Sort of Person Hates Barack Obama?

By Bertie Brandes


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Snaps for Obama! But before you start planning your Obamarama dinner party, take a moment to consider the forgotten and distressed. Although in your bubble of liberalism you might think that everyone would be thrilled about America’s gradual progression towards a political system which might actually do something right someday, in fact large swathes of America are furious about it.

It doesn’t seem right, after such a win for democracy and liberalism, to mock those less fortunate than ourselves, so I’ve compiled a selection of tweets that can help us to emphathise with Republicans everywhere, as well as to answer the question: What sort of person hates Barack Obama?


Maria likes:
- #Bieber2012
- Time off school
- Louis Vuitton trainers
- The snack Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
- Special effects make-up
- the Bible
- Louis from pop band One Direction

 

Trisha Paytas likes:
- YouTube
- Her breasts
- Being a mix of "Woody Allen and your local hooker"
- Catholicism
- Candles
- Tall Men
- Christina Aguilera's hair
- The idea of being entirely supported by an oil tycoon

 

Ted Nugent likes:
- God
- Hunting
- Taking pictures of dead things
- Venison jerky
- Pictures of women holding guns
- Slaughtering pigs from helicopters with machine guns



Linda likes:
- Retweeting other angry Republicans
- The military
- God
- Conspiracy theories
- God-fearing Christian Americans
- #FAITH



stars and bars babe likes:
- The word "nigger"
- Sweet tea
- The word "ass"
- The movie Despicable Me
-
Hunting camp
- Real men
- Unregistered firearms
- Gay rights

 

Ryan Payne likes:
- Fooling around
- The pop icon Taylor Swift
- New Balance velcros
- Boobies
- The word 'poop'
- The musician Kendrick Lamar
- Soccer

 

tasha?james likes:
- Jesus
- Halloween
- A guy who would randomly buy her flowers
- The musician Dierks Bentley
- The cereal Honey Smacks
- Not having to set her alarm

 

Tracey Neumann likes:
- Cups of tea
- Cuddling
- The film Magic Mike
- Complaining that she feels "hollow"
- The TV programme Dexter
- Comparing Obama to Adolf Hitler



Gingerballz9 likes:
- The REM song "Man On The Moon"
- The TV programme South Park
- The band Muse
- The band Coheed and Cambria
- The band Foo Fighters
- Anti-feminist jokes
- Getting stoned
- Comparing Barack Obama badly in relative terms to the Pearl Harbor attacks

 

Leah likes:
- God
- Coffee
- Praying
- Aggressive politicians
- The fried chicken restaurant Chick-fil-a
- Banning birth control
- Feminism

 

Donald J. Trump likes:
- The idea of marching to the White House and staging a coup of the legitimately elected government
- The concept of global warming having been invented by the Chinese as part of a conspiracy to get Obama re-elected
- The idea of a President who won't "bow to the Saudis"
- Reality TV's #1 Bad Girl "Omarosa"
- The World's greatest golf course (which he owns)
- Hanging out with Mitt Romney

Owh, poor things!

Follow Bertie on Twitter: @bertiebrandes

More Twitter-based psychoanalysis:

What Sort of Person Likes Ed Sheeran?

What Sort of Person Likes Mumford & Sons?

What Sort of Person Still Thinks 9/11 Was an Inside Job?

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