Hey Crustie, Would You Have Sex With Louise Mensch?
Welcome to Question of International Workers' Day. It's a May Day special!
Today is May Day. Every lefty, trade unionist, activist, socialist, communist, anarchist, syndicalist, exhibitionist, juggler and student unable to get laid on a regular basis is out in the street protesting against all the capitalism currently floating about. Capitalism! Grrr! The Man. What a bastard.
But are all these crusties consistent with their beliefs? Are their politics in sync with their libido? We decided to take a picture of Tory MP bombshell Louise Mensch (who got a kicking today on Twitter for defending Rupert Murdoch on TV) out onto the streets and asked the men of Occupy London (in Finsbury Square) if they fancied her or not. Would they needlessly compromise their belief systems and show themselves up for the genitally-compromised human beings they truly are? Let's find out.
VICE: This woman is Louise Mensch, a Conservative MP. Is she fit?
Pablo, 34, camp supervisor: Yeah, I’d say so.
Would you sleep with her?
I guess so.
Does the fact that she’s a Tory put you off?
No, I don’t care for politics too much.
VICE: Do you know who this is?
Owen, 32, political activist: Yes, I know who that is.
Would you sleep with her?
She got married recently, right?
Forget the husband, or the fact she's even a woman, what we're trying to say is would you sleep with a Tory?
If I sleep with her, what do I get?
You get to have theoretical – ie nonexistent – sex and needlessly compromise your belief system in front of an audience of thousands.
I saw her on Question Time and BBC Parliament, she seems alright. So yeah, I guess I would.
You're a hero, Owen.
VICE: Would you sleep with Louise Mensch?
Jula, 44, protester: [silence, confused stare]
This is a picture of [raises voice] LOUISE MENSCH and she’s a TORY, what does that make you think of her?
I’m from Hungary, my English is not very well.
That’s fine, do you think she’s attractive?
Is she hot stuff?
Would the fact that she’s a Tory put you off?
OK, sorry to bother you, Jula.
VICE: Hey, would you sleep with Louise Mensch?
Phillip, 41, decorator: I wouldn’t go out of my way.
What if she went out of her way?
The fact that she’s a Tory, does it put you off?
It does put me off.
VICE: Is this lady sexy?
Tony, 46, unemployed: No.
If we told you her name's Louise Mensch and she’s a Tory MP, does that change things?
Oh, well I would definitely shag her then!
Would you sleep with her for revenge??!??!
Yeah, she’s a Tory MP!
It’s almost like you're screwing the Tories! Ahahahahaha!!!!111!
Yeah, literally [laughs] It would make perfect sense!
Andre, 42, self-employed: [upon hearing who we are] VICE? That’s like... erm... Miami Vice!
So what do you want to ask me?
Well, it’s pretty simple, do you find this lady attractive? Have a good think about it.
Listen, I'm not about the external. For me, it’s all about the personality.
OK well she’s a Tory, does that say anything about her personality?
If I met her and she looked and sounded nice... If she was a Conservative but nice, it wouldn’t put me off.
What if she was a BNP politician?
I’ll call you back with that answer.
VICE: Do you find this woman attractive?
Ian, 44, marketing manager: Oh yeah, I do actually.
Do you know who she is?
Yeah, she’s Mensch.
Would the fact that she’s a Tory put you off sleeping with her?
Slightly, but she’s powerful, she’s got that domineering thing going on.
So would you let her dominate you?
I would let her dominate me, yes.
VICE: Is this woman hot?
Simon, 27, administrator: Errrm, she looks conventionally attractive. But that's not to my tastes.
Do you know who she?
I don’t know who she is?
She’s Louise Mensch, a prominent Tory politician. Does that put you off her?
What, just because she's a Tory?
I wouldn’t even go near her with a bargepole.
Check out the May Day 2012 VICE Liveblog over here.
Previously - How Big is the Internet?