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Remembering The Golden Age of Football Blunders Videos

This year, the DVDs are no more. Because we no longer need Olly Murs or Ray Winstone rounding up the year's most awful misses.

Not long ago, every Christmas, DVDs and VHS tapes filled with the year's greatest football blunders were the go-to present for the male family member you have absolutely nothing to say to. These DVDs – editing together Richard Dunne own goals, Lee Trundle showboating and League Two goalmouth scrambles – were presented by a mouthy ex-pro or a banter-related celeb.

But sadly, in 2016 they are no more, with none scheduled for release this year. As any vaguely amusing football incident now ends up on social media within a few minutes of it happening, you no longer need Olly Murs or Mark Wright introducing some awful misses in an end-of-year roundup you have to pay for.

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So in order to pour some out for this British football institution, here are some of greatest football blooper DVDs and videos to have been release over the years.

Nick Hancock: Football Hell (1997) and Nick Hancock: Football Doctor (1999)

The OG of the genre was Danny Baker, with his seminal Own Goals and Gaffsthat ran from the early 90s. But after Baker stepped down, his crown was taken by They Think It's All Over host Nick Hancock. His first entry, Football Nightmares, is pretty good. The sequels, however, are worrying attempts at keeping the banter fresh. Football Hell is quite literally a satanic-themed nightmare in which Hancock becomes the Aleister Crowley of own goals. He's joined by jobbing actors dressed as hooded cult members, who ham their way around a nightclub with exposed brickwork posing as a dungeon. In Football Doctor, he wears a white coat, wisecracking his way around a hospital, while a copyright-free take on the Casualty theme music plays in the background.

Big Ron Bites Back (1999) and Big Ron's Mad Mangers (2004)

Former Man United and Villa boss Ron Atkinson made two tapes, both focusing on managers, and both failing in different ways. In Big Ron Bites Back, he interviews other manager mates like Dave Bassett, Terry Venables, Andy Gray (who had never actually managed a team) and a long, Moet-fuelled boozy lunch with Barry Fry in what looks like a Premiere Inn reception. The 2004's Big Ron's Mad Mangers episode is a standard clip show, but was released just six months after Atkinson was caught on tape calling Marcel Desailly the N-word. Obviously they should have just canned the project and cut their loses — I had a Christmas job in a DVD store that year, and we didn't sell a single copy of it.

Advertisement

Soccer Studs With Zoe Ball (1997)

The bizarre tape was a clichéd attempt to open up the bloopers videos market to women, with Zoe Ball compiling clips of her hottest footy hunks instead of Swindon own goals. A perfect time-capsule of "ladette" culture, the episode invites us to "Join Lee Sharpe at the pool, Ian Wright at a photoshoot, and Ryan Giggs and Eric Cantona at a swank premiere party". Zoe selects her "Tight Bum XI", does some awkward dribbling on a training pitch, while footage of players strut around topless rolls throughout.

Soccer Saturday: Cheers, Jeers and Tears (2013)

Soccer Saturday host Jeff Stelling having his own bloopers DVD wasn't particularly surprising. However, this is not a collection of football clips — instead it compiles "20 years of the show's funniest football banter". So it's actually just an hour of Soccer Saturday's "best" moments — i.e. Stelling dancing, Chris Kamara getting things wrong, and Paul Merson being an incoherent mess. What they don't have the rights to though is any of the matches they are talking about, which makes it a football DVD without any actual football in it.

Paddy McGuinness All Star Balls Ups (2007)

Most bloopers DVDs are low budget affairs, Paddy McGuinness's All Star Balls Ups is a blockbuster, with the producers having hired out a stately home, rented a few sports cars, paid for real licensed music, and even roped in cameos from ex-pros and pundits including Ian Rush, Graham Taylor and Mark Lawrenson. Paddy plays the role of a lord of a country manor and all the old players are his servants. It includes one horrific scene where Paddy walks into the bathroom to find Chris Kamara, Alan McInally and Paul Merson appearing to pleasure themselves over the sinks. McInally and Kammy quickly reveal that they are actually just polishing trophies, but Merson stays quiet. It's basically confirms he's really just masturbating in front of Kammy and McInally. Then we get a crash zoom in on Paul Merson's sex face, and it is an image that will haunt you for weeks.

Advertisement

Olly Murs: 7 Deadly Sins of Football (2011) and Mark Wright: Football Saints & Sinners (2012)

If you can't get a football player to host your DVD, then you want to get a celeb that your dad will like — one of the less leftie blokes off of Mock The Week, or someone who was in Lock, Stock. Maybe a snooker player. Not, however, someone off of TOWIE or a cheeky chappie who was on X-Factor a few years back, which is evident in this truly awful film.

Ray Winstone's Football Blinders and Blunders (2008)

This is unarguably the greatest football blunder special. Ray's actually watched the clips beforehand, which is rare — even if he does go into full-on 'Yer Da' mode at a one point, moaning about the England team "poncing about" trying to be European. But what truly earns this DVD it's title is it's full 10 minute section dedicated to Joe Cole.

@achinglychic

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The weirdest football bloopers DVDs and VHSes of all time

Not long ago, every Christmas, DVDs filled with the year's greatest football bloopers were the go-to present for the male family member you have absolutely nothing to say to. These DVDs – editing together Richard Dunne own goals, Lee Trundle showboating and League Two goalmouth scrambles – were presented by a mouthy ex-pro or a banter-related celeb.

Advertisement

But sadly, in 2016 they are no more, with none scheduled for release this year. As any vaguely amusing football incident now ends up on social media within a few minutes of it happening, you no longer need Olly Murs or Mark Wright introducing some awful misses in an end-of-year roundup you have to pay for.

So in order to pour some out for this British football institution, here are some of greatest football blooper DVDs and videos to have been release over the years.

Nick Hancock: Football Hell (1997) and Nick Hancock: Football Doctor (1999)

The OG of the genre was Danny Baker, with his seminal Own Goals and Gaffs [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0373215/] that ran from the early 90s. But after Baker stepped down, his crown was taken by They Think It's All Over host Nick Hancock. His first entry, Football Nightmares, is pretty good. The sequels, however, are desperate attempts at keeping the banter fresh. Football Hell is quite literally a satanic-themed nightmare in which Hancock becomes the Aleister Crowley of own goals. He's joined by jobbing actors dressed as hooded cult members, who ham their way around a nightclub with exposed brickwork posing as a dungeon. In Football Doctor, he wears a white coat, wisecracking his way around a hospital, while a copyright-free take on the Casualty theme music plays in the background

[

]

Big Ron Bites Back (1999) and Big Ron's Mad Mangers (2004)

Former Man United and Villa boss Ron Atkinson made two tapes, both focusing on managers, and both failing in different ways. In Big Ron Bites Back, he interviews other manager mates like Dave Bassett, Terry Venables, Andy Gray (who had never actually managed a team) and a long, Moet-fuelled boozy lunch with Barry Fry in what looks like a Premiere Inn reception. The 2004's Big Ron's Mad Mangers episode is a standard clip show, but was released just six months after Atkinson was caught on tape calling Marcel Desailly the N-word. Obviously they should have just canned the project and cut their loses — I had a Christmas job in a DVD store that year, and we didn't sell a single copy of it.

Advertisement

Soccer Studs With Zoe Ball (1997)

The bizarre tape was a cliched attempt to open up the bloopers videos market to women, with Zoe Ball compiling clips of her hottest footy hunks instead of Swindon own goals. A perfect time-capsule of "ladette" culture, the episode invites us to "Join Lee Sharpe at the pool, Ian Wright at a photoshoot, and Ryan Giggs and Eric Cantona at a swank premiere party". Zoe selects her "Tight Bum XI", does some awkward dribbling on a training pitch, while footage of players strutting around topless rolls throughout.

Soccer Saturday: Cheers, Jeers and Tears (2013)

Soccer Saturday host Jeff Stelling having his own bloopers DVD wasn't particularly surprising. However, this is not a collection of football clips — instead it compiles "20 years of the show's funniest football banter". So it's actually just an hour of Soccer Saturday's "best" moments — i.e. Stelling dancing, Chris Kamara getting things wrong, and Paul Merson being an incoherent mess. What they don't have the rights to though is any of the matches they are talking about, which makes it a football DVD without any actual football in it.

Paddy McGuinness All Star Balls Ups (2007)

Most bloopers DVDs are low budget affairs, Paddy McGuinness's All Star Balls Ups is a blockbuster, with the producers having hired out a stately home, rented a few sports cars, paid for real licensed music, and even roped in cameos from ex-pros and pundits including Ian Rush, Graham Taylor and Mark Lawrenson. Paddy plays the role of a lord of a country manor and all the old players are his servants. It includes one horrific scene where Paddy walks into the bathroom to find Chris Kamara, Alan McInally and Paul Merson appearing to pleasure themselves over the sinks. McInally and Kammy quickly reveal that they are actually just polishing trophies, but Merson stays quiet. It's basically confirms he's really just masturbating in front of Kammy and McInally. Then we get a crash zoom in on Paul Merson's sex face, and it is an image that will haunt you for weeks.

Advertisement

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4vh7vz_paddy-mcg…

Olly Murs: 7 Deadly Sins of Football (2011) and Mark Wright: Football Saints & Sinners (2012)

If you can't get a football player to host your DVD, then you want to get a celeb that your dad will like — one of the less leftie blokes of Mock The Week, or someone who was in Lock, Stock. Maybe a snooker player. Not, however, someone off of TOWIE or a cheeky chappie who was on X-Factor a few years back, which is evident in this truly awful film.

Ray Winstone's Football Blinders and Blunders (2008)

This is unarguably the greatest football blooper special. Ray's actually watched the clips beforehand, which is rare — even if he does go into full-on 'Yer Da' mode at a one point, moaning about the England team "poncing about" trying to be European. But what truly earns this DVD it's title is it's full 10 minute section dedicated to Joe Cole.

Wil Jones @achinglychic

The weirdest football bloopers DVDs and VHSes of all time

Not long ago, every Christmas, DVDs filled with the year's greatest football bloopers were the go-to present for the male family member you have absolutely nothing to say to. These DVDs – editing together Richard Dunne own goals, Lee Trundle showboating and League Two goalmouth scrambles – were presented by a mouthy ex-pro or a banter-related celeb.

But sadly, in 2016 they are no more, with none scheduled for release this year. As any vaguely amusing football incident now ends up on social media within a few minutes of it happening, you no longer need Olly Murs or Mark Wright introducing some awful misses in an end-of-year roundup you have to pay for.

Advertisement

So in order to pour some out for this British football institution, here are some of greatest football blooper DVDs and videos to have been release over the years.

Nick Hancock: Football Hell (1997) and Nick Hancock: Football Doctor (1999)

The OG of the genre was Danny Baker, with his seminal Own Goals and Gaffs [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0373215/] that ran from the early 90s. But after Baker stepped down, his crown was taken by They Think It's All Over host Nick Hancock. His first entry, Football Nightmares, is pretty good. The sequels, however, are desperate attempts at keeping the banter fresh. Football Hell is quite literally a satanic-themed nightmare in which Hancock becomes the Aleister Crowley of own goals. He's joined by jobbing actors dressed as hooded cult members, who ham their way around a nightclub with exposed brickwork posing as a dungeon. In Football Doctor, he wears a white coat, wisecracking his way around a hospital, while a copyright-free take on the Casualty theme music plays in the background

[

]

Big Ron Bites Back (1999) and Big Ron's Mad Mangers (2004)

Former Man United and Villa boss Ron Atkinson made two tapes, both focusing on managers, and both failing in different ways. In Big Ron Bites Back, he interviews other manager mates like Dave Bassett, Terry Venables, Andy Gray (who had never actually managed a team) and a long, Moet-fuelled boozy lunch with Barry Fry in what looks like a Premiere Inn reception. The 2004's Big Ron's Mad Mangers episode is a standard clip show, but was released just six months after Atkinson was caught on tape calling Marcel Desailly the N-word. Obviously they should have just canned the project and cut their loses — I had a Christmas job in a DVD store that year, and we didn't sell a single copy of it.

Advertisement

Soccer Studs With Zoe Ball (1997)

The bizarre tape was a cliched attempt to open up the bloopers videos market to women, with Zoe Ball compiling clips of her hottest footy hunks instead of Swindon own goals. A perfect time-capsule of "ladette" culture, the episode invites us to "Join Lee Sharpe at the pool, Ian Wright at a photoshoot, and Ryan Giggs and Eric Cantona at a swank premiere party". Zoe selects her "Tight Bum XI", does some awkward dribbling on a training pitch, while footage of players strutting around topless rolls throughout.

Soccer Saturday: Cheers, Jeers and Tears (2013)

Soccer Saturday host Jeff Stelling having his own bloopers DVD wasn't particularly surprising. However, this is not a collection of football clips — instead it compiles "20 years of the show's funniest football banter". So it's actually just an hour of Soccer Saturday's "best" moments — i.e. Stelling dancing, Chris Kamara getting things wrong, and Paul Merson being an incoherent mess. What they don't have the rights to though is any of the matches they are talking about, which makes it a football DVD without any actual football in it.

Paddy McGuinness All Star Balls Ups (2007)

Most bloopers DVDs are low budget affairs, Paddy McGuinness's All Star Balls Ups is a blockbuster, with the producers having hired out a stately home, rented a few sports cars, paid for real licensed music, and even roped in cameos from ex-pros and pundits including Ian Rush, Graham Taylor and Mark Lawrenson. Paddy plays the role of a lord of a country manor and all the old players are his servants. It includes one horrific scene where Paddy walks into the bathroom to find Chris Kamara, Alan McInally and Paul Merson appearing to pleasure themselves over the sinks. McInally and Kammy quickly reveal that they are actually just polishing trophies, but Merson stays quiet. It's basically confirms he's really just masturbating in front of Kammy and McInally. Then we get a crash zoom in on Paul Merson's sex face, and it is an image that will haunt you for weeks.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4vh7vz_paddy-mcg…

Olly Murs: 7 Deadly Sins of Football (2011) and Mark Wright: Football Saints & Sinners (2012)

If you can't get a football player to host your DVD, then you want to get a celeb that your dad will like — one of the less leftie blokes of Mock The Week, or someone who was in Lock, Stock. Maybe a snooker player. Not, however, someone off of TOWIE or a cheeky chappie who was on X-Factor a few years back, which is evident in this truly awful film.

Ray Winstone's Football Blinders and Blunders (2008)

This is unarguably the greatest football blooper special. Ray's actually watched the clips beforehand, which is rare — even if he does go into full-on 'Yer Da' mode at a one point, moaning about the England team "poncing about" trying to be European. But what truly earns this DVD it's title is it's full 10 minute section dedicated to Joe Cole.

Wil Jones @achinglychic