Stuff

Ron Weasley's Suicide

By Gilbert Grope

Life in the post-Dalston Superstars era can be mighty confusing. What’s real, what’s satire and what’s both?

Last night I was innocently googling "fat topless ginger cocaine cake" and this video popped up. It's allegedly a promo for a forthcoming reality series about what has happened to Ron Weasley post-Harry Potter.

The content of the footage shouldn’t be shocking. We’ve all been there. It's your birthday party and by way of a pre-game, you’re going at it double-barrelled and then when nobody shows up, you pretend someone made you a cake and talk to cardboard cut-outs of your ex-mates.

We're all used to seeing celebrities break down in public, but I can't help but think that now things have gone too far. Anyone who was present at the one and only media screening of the first episode of David Carradine’s aborted reality series cataloguing his struggles with hangy wanks, will know that this is not a laughing matter.

By all means, obsess over mediocre ‘stars’, but don’t then mock them when you bump into them at the deli counter at Asda.