The Anonymous Hug Wall is big pink love

By Alex

OK, Captain Snide, I can see you rolling your eyes at the Anonymous Hug Wall, but this is for sooo much more than just allowing twemo-hippies to mollycoddle one another in an non-intimidating atmosphere. After all, why build the West Bank barrier out of suicide, concrete, and misgiving when it could be littered with hug-sleeves sewn from love and the music of the Mutato Muzika Orchestra?

Imagine it, an Israeli soldier tearfully approaching the wall to be hugged by skinny pretty Palestinian girl who likes to talk about bands. It’s beautiful. It doesn’t matter what race you are, sometimes we all need a hug. Alternatively, it would be good for prison morale; you could erect them in between cells and guys could jerk each other off through the walls and it wouldn’t be gay because they’re not even in the same room. You can’t be gay when you’re not in the same room, right?

Or you could lure someone you dislike into a narrow alley and then slip your arms in and choke them, leaving no trace of your guilt. Clearly, the Anonymous Hug Wall is the perfect gift for everyone, from humanitarian to gay strangler. Contact its designer if you want one (or ten!) for Christmas.