The Best of VICE This Week
It's the weekend (nearly)!! Here's a round up of the week's best, to distract you until it's really here.
WARREN ELLIS SAYS DELETE EVERYTHING NOW

In the future, Mickey Mouse will know when you're fucking the wrong man.
HOW TO LIVE IN BRITAIN WITHOUT GETTING YOUR AMERICAN HEAD KICKED IN

A survival guide for anyone who calls trousers "pants".
63 PERCENT OF GIRLS WANT TO SHOW YOU THEIR NIPPLES

And 92 percent of them want to marry Chris Brown. Apparently.

If Los Angeles is the place where young starlets' dreams go to die, Venice Beach seems to be the neighbourhood where the nightmares of old curmudgeons come to life.
I'M IN A HIP ELECTRONICA BAND AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
Harry Cheadle's misguided attempts to become a rock star
I'M SO SICK OF THESE HIPSTER TROMBONISTS

Since when did anybody play the trombone ironically?
PLANES, FLAMES AND BANGS FROM THE SKY

"On the ground" in Gaza is a difficult place to be, when death keeps falling from the sky.
THE BIG GULP: MY FIRST TIME SWALLOWING

Learning how to swallow without being a brat.
I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE BLOW IN COLOMBIA

And I never want to see shitty NYC cocaine again.
ASSAD BOMBED THE DAR AL SHIFA HOSPITAL

His MIG jets turned it to rubble.
LONDON'S 2012 STUDENT DEMO WAS A WASHOUT

They screamed their rage at Big Ben, but Big Ben didn't wanna listen.
HAVE CARTOONS LEGITIMISED PAEDOPHILIA IN JAPAN?

The age of consent in Japan is 13, which is creepy. These cartoon's make it creepier.
I'M SENDING FOUR PEOPLE TO MARS FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES

Some Dutch guy wants to send you to Mars. Forever.

The Wizard Of The Saddle Rides Again
The dark specter of history in Memphis.
Sisa: Cocaine Of The Poor
A new drug is tearing through Athens' poor.
This Is What Winning Looks Like
Chaos and corruption in Afghanistan.
On The Road With Tony Clifton
A piece of performance art outlived his creator.
Animal Penises Are Super Weird
But cat penises are the worst.
The Hatchet-Wielding Hobo Is Wanted For Murder
He says he was drugged and raped.
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