Stuff

The Creationist Zoo in Bristol

By Jamie Lee Curtis Taete

0

img_5989

Last Saturday, I took a visit to Noah's Ark Zoo Farm, a Christian-run creationist zoo near Bristol. I'd normally associate creationism and especially creation-themed entertainment facilities with the States, and I should know, so I was interested to see the British take on religious codswallop.

img_5712

This is what greeted me as I arrived at the zoo. I figured they'd be protesting the zoo's Christian agenda, but turned out they were there to inform everyone about the zoo's other agenda, that of keeping a tiger's head in the staff room freezer.

img_5957

This is a rhino, one of God's most wondrous creations. Did you know that horn in the middle of its face isn't actually a horn? It's made of thickly matted hair that grows from the skull without skeletal support. God really does move in mysterious ways. Though I went in there looking for Christian stuff, it took me a while to actually find any. Beyond the name, there's almost no mention of Christianity on the marketing materials or zoo signage.

img_5730

I'd started to think that the zoo's brainwashing techniques were so subtle that I wouldn't be able to find any evidence of it until I returned home with the Glory of God in my heart and started stigmatising my palms. Thankfully, when I entered the reptile house I saw this gem. TLDR: We know God made snakes because The Bible said so and science can't really prove otherwise.

img_5719

But then it was back to standard zoo stuff like hearing 50 people simultaneously yelling "SIMPLES!" at this poor lil' guy.

Comments

0