The EDL: Are They Still Funny?
It's been a while since I bothered to check in with the English Defence League. There's nothing I love more than milking those guys for laughs, but repetition is a place where jokes go to get old and die. There are also those among us who view the EDL as a legitimate and coherent threat to social harmony. But will the world really stand-by, straight-faced, as the fear of a Muslim planet provokes Tommy Robinson and his cohorts into throes of hilarious idiocy? We say: how can it, when images like this exist in the world.
OUR GLORIOUS LEADER
Would the Islamic extremists attempt to lionize their leader by emblazoning an image of him soaked in Photoshop bukkake upon the Pride Flag? Of course they wouldn't. But the EDL did, because they're funnier than their Muslim counterparts and they've spent the last five years unwittingly producing better gags than anything that's ever been on BBC3.
Are the EDL still funny? I'm genuinely shocked and appalled that someone at the EDL's PR department thought this image was a good idea. Shocked and appalled, but delighted. So yes.
OUR GLORIOUS LEADER HAS STOLEN ALL OF OUR MONEY
In public, the EDL will strut through your provincial town declaring their valiance in the bombastic terms of The Crusades. "We're only saying what everyone else is thinking," they will bray. "We're standing up for you because we are as brave as knights, and you are a scared, brainwashed little pussy."
They will then piss all over themselves by delivering skin-tearing, Office-style soliloquys like this one, in which they mumble stuff about hats and offer 38-minute long explanations of where all the money they've raised selling racist badges at 75p a pop has disappeared to. Tommy Robinson, one of the great orators of the 21st Century, will keel to the sombre tone by delivering these apologies in the manner of a man who's come home from work to find his sons fucking.
Are the EDL still funny? In truth? No. This depressed me hugely.
The EDL: not big fans of Muslims or education. Unless this is them hurling righteous spears of satire at the Daily Mail's recent assertion that our elite universities are "hotbeds of extremism".
Nah, I don't think they're joking.
Definitely not joking.
Are the EDL still funny? If any of you can tell me when a racist threatening to convert to Islam and blow his own house up isn't funny I'll dip my dick in your beer and go swinging for the tramps.
These “bigoted” pig suits were made in response to a branch of KFC’s decision to start using Halal meat. Their pinpointing of Islamic Kryptonite – Muslims are fucking terrified of pigs – has us tickled pink. We’re literally in stitches. We could go on, but we'd rather leave the EDL alone with an ample supply of rope rather than hogging the limelight ourselves.
Are the EDL still funny? See that third wall over there? The one Chris Morris is standing on, brandishing unsold DVD copies of Four Lions? Oh wait, you can’t, the EDL just smashed right through it with a homemade battering ram made out of LMAOs.
We think the English Defence League ARE still funny. Let us know if we've called this one right or not below.
HENRY LANGSTON & LENNY HAMSTRING