The Hangover News
SHOOT HIM AGAIN, HIS SOUL'S STILL GURNING
Hardly Unreported World, this – especially given our earlier words on the latest round of anti-Capitalist confrontations in Catalonia – but footage of the violence that gripped Barcelona on Friday was shocking enough to justify inclusion here even before some guy decided to get all DJ Screw with it.
As that earlier report mentioned, Vice was out in Barcelona this weekend, albeit nicely sequestered away some miles up the coast, struggling not to weep through bursting eyes at the beauty of Primavera's solar panels.
But reports of police brutality from those festival-goers who'd been inadvertently caught up in it were frequent – apparently the world's media didn't capture the bit where the police removed their badges before forcing the journalists away and setting about the poor crusties with even more brutal gusto.
The protestors, angry at high unemployment rates, had been sitting peacefully in the Plaça de Catalunya for four days before the cops decided to wade in with koshes and rubber bullets. 99 people were hospitalised.
"It was horrible," said one of the numerous new best friends we made over the course of the weekend. "They took off all their masks and helmets and just beat the crap out of them. They didn't want to be identified. It was carnage."
The authorities reasoned that the violence would be necessary because the streets needed to be clear before the best football side of all time trounced Manchester United in the Champions League final and returned home to drink cava out of the trophy on top of a big blue and red bus.
Barca did trounce the Mancs, and apparently Lionel Messi fucking hates people who sit around smoking bad hashish in the plaças all day while playing coffee table dub through their tofu phones, but the left-wing press reckon the police just used the football as an excuse to get their batons sore.
Either way, a load of football fans used the newly-cleared streets to fight the police in barely 24 hours later, so at least a few Catalan bullies woke up with the bruises they deserved on Sunday morning.
OXFAM BUMMED EVERYONE OUT AGAIN
Apparently we'll soon all be spending even vaster amounts of money on feeding ourselves, like the people in India who pay £12.50 for two pints of milk.
Well, I say soon – Oxfam actually estimate that the price of staple foods will "more than double by 2030", which is 19 years away. How old will you be then? You'll either be dead, alone or have kids to feed.
THERE'S A NEW DRUG IN TOWN AND ITS NAME IS RUST
Its latest target is not the French, however – it's the people who live on the banks of the Amazon in South America.
"Oxi" – short for oxidado, or "rust" in English – sounds fucking horrible. It's twice as powerful as crack and available for just a fifth of the price and, according to a Guardian report, it makes you think the police are attacking you with snakes.
Users also shit themselves uncontrollably and lose all their teeth.
"The difference between cocaine and oxi is like the difference between drinking beer and pure alcohol," they were told by an anonymous federal police guy they found at the border of Peru and Brazil.
It's making its way into the bigger cities and now the authorities are getting scared because it kills people and makes them rob stuff.
A MACHINE DESTROYED EVERYTHING
Because it hates the world.
AN ART STUDENT DREW YOU A PICTURE
Don't know where this came from or why or how it exists, but thanks, someone.
Previously: The Hangover News
Fringes: Stories from the Edge: Cowboy Capitalists
For maverick entrepreneur Ian Cox, Africa is the last frontier of free enterprise.
Has a South American Spring Come to Brazil?
The protests there don't show any sign of slowing down.
Molly Crabapple Sent Us Sketches from Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s Pretrial Hearings at Gitmo
Drawings from the secretive and odd military commission trial of the alleged mastermind of 9/11.
Costa Rican Drug Addicts Are Killing Turtles and Conservationists for Crack
Jairo Mora Sandoval was found beaten to death with sand stuffed in his mouth.
Talking to Besiktas' Bulldozer Joyriding Fans About Their Role In the Turkish Uprising
Çarşı have united people from all different backgrounds to fight against Erdogan's government.