The Hangover News
LOTS OF PEOPLE READ SOMEONE ELSE'S BORING EMAILS
A load of strangers rifled through Sarah Palin's old emails but found nothing of any real interest.
The Guardian, the New York Times and the Washington Post all asked their readers to help them plough through the 24,000 pages of emails released on Friday by the state of Alaska.
Palin was governor there for 21 months – from 2006 until she was picked as John McCain's presidential running mate – but if anything interesting happened during her tenure, it must have been discussed in the 2,300 pages of emails that the authorities wouldn't let the media look at.
As a result, the writers that hate Sarah Palin because she's an idiot have been forced to resort to low-level troll tactics like decrying spelling mistakes and mocking her for not writing her own speeches.
Much to the pinko chagrin, nothing has come to light yet that would even mildly hinder any shot Palin might like to take at the presidency in next year's election.
That said, we guess this will be seen as an important moment when the historians look back at 2011 and the advent of privacy 2.0.
A COUNTRY HAS BEEN HACKING INTO THE WORLD'S PIGGY BANK
I don't know how accurate this image is, but whenever I try to picture what the International Monetary Fund might look like, I see something that's a cross between Fhloston Paradise and Scrooge McDuck's bank vault.
I suppose it's vaguely impressive, then, that someone – or some country, as the people investigating this breach are suggesting – has managed to hack into the IMF's computer systems.
I don't think they downloaded billions of pounds to their laptops like they do in films, the nation-state was just looking for secrets.
A MAN PSYCHOLOGICALLY ANALYSED ANOTHER MAN WHO WAS PLAYING A GAME ABOUT WAR
I don't know what "griefing" is but this is pretty funny.
THERE WAS A FIGHT AT A SKATE PARK IN ESSEX
Say what you like about people from Essex, they really know how to sucker punch each other.
LIZ JONES TRIED TO TACKLE THE "SLUTWALK" THING AND GOT HERSELF IN A MUDDLE
Everyone's favourite Daily Mail point-misser continues to greet everything in the modern world with a mixture of confusion and bemusement. This week: sluts.
Previously: The Hangover News