The Hangover News
BRITAIN TO BECOME A VAGRANT STATE
Six months ago, the British Prime Minister was sent a letter telling him not to mess with the benefits system because doing so could make 40,000 British families homeless.
The Prime Minister ignored the letter, even though it also suggested that the government wouldn't save money making the changes, and would instead end up paying to evict thousands of men, women, children and weapon dogs from their homes.
It was sent by the PM's communities secretary Eric Pickles, though he was either too lazy, busy or unconcerned to write it himself, so he got one of his lackeys to draft it.
At the time, Pickles regarded government plans to restrict families to a maximum of £500 per week in benefits as shit and stupid.
Included in his ignored missive-cum-plea is the observation that the private developers building Britain's "affordable new housing" might not build it if the people who are supposed to move in can't afford the rent.
Since sending the letter, though, he appears to have changed his mind, despite it making a great deal of sense. Maybe he is planning to house some of the displaced families in his chin.
The changes to the benefits system have been passed to the Lords and are expected to come into effect in 2013, but as ever the pluck-laden British public are putting on a brave face.
I was at Henley Regatta on Saturday, and it was almost impossible to tell that anyone there was dreading an itinerant future spent sleeping in bins with rats.
A MAN FILMED HIS OWN DEATH IN SYRIA
I know it's Monday morning and real life's depressing enough, but don't wander off because this is important. It's the rarely-reported but inevitable downside of the citizen journalism that's helped define, not just the Arab Spring, but the global democratic process.
Security forces and militias loyal to the Assad regime in Syria have been firing guns in the city of Homs this weekend. This poor guy was filming from his balcony when he appeared to get shot in the head.
The Guardian haven't been able to confirm the video's validity or the man's death due to bans on foreign journalists and human rights groups in Syria.
It is known that the death toll in Homs has been rising since Friday, which saw the biggest demonstrations yet in a three and a half month popular uprising against the Assad regime.
The killing of another man, named locally as Diyya al-Najjar, appears to be captured in a separate film uploaded to YouTube.
NASA TOLD TO GO FUCK ITSELF
A good point, well made.
All the toadying that stupid people do to our future alien overlords reminds me of the sweet nothings the Catholic church were putting in the ears of the Nazis back in 1933, but this guy makes God's choice of representative on earth look inspired.
I bet He and Adolf are up there together now pissing themselves laughing at the aliens.
IRONY WIPED ANOTHER SOUL FROM THE EARTH
A middle-aged American biker died on Saturday during an anti-helmet protest ride in New York State.
The police reckon Philip A. Contos probably would have survived the handlebar vault had he been wearing a helmet, as is currently the law in New York State.
THIS IS WHAT KANYE WEST AND JAY-Z'S ALBUM'S GONNA LOOK LIKE
This is the artwork for Watch The Throne. I can't wait to find out how this design and that title prove that Jay-Z and Kanye are slaves for the Illuminati every time I go on the internet for the next decade.
Previously: The Hangover News
Fringes: Stories from the Edge: Cowboy Capitalists
For maverick entrepreneur Ian Cox, Africa is the last frontier of free enterprise.
Has a South American Spring Come to Brazil?
The protests there don't show any sign of slowing down.
Molly Crabapple Sent Us Sketches from Khalid Sheikh Mohammed’s Pretrial Hearings at Gitmo
Drawings from the secretive and odd military commission trial of the alleged mastermind of 9/11.
Costa Rican Drug Addicts Are Killing Turtles and Conservationists for Crack
Jairo Mora Sandoval was found beaten to death with sand stuffed in his mouth.
Talking to Besiktas' Bulldozer Joyriding Fans About Their Role In the Turkish Uprising
Çarşı have united people from all different backgrounds to fight against Erdogan's government.