THE LONG EMERGENCY

By viceland

Remember at the beginning of Mad Max where the narrator talks about “The day the black stuff ran out.” It was a crazy nutty fantasy movie about there being no more oil. Of course, that day will never come. You know why? Because we are going to vandalize SUVs, eat more tofu, use one plastic bag instead of two, and ride a bike with a sticker that says “No Blood for Oil.” Just kidding! That will only give us about 48 more minutes of oil. What we really have to do is go through the Middle East starting wars with everyone so we can take over their land and inevitably, control their oil. Just kidding! That will only buy us another week or so. Whether you’re a college kid with a Mohawk or the most gullible president in history you can’t avoid the inevitable truth that we’re out and Mad Max is just around the corner. We warned you about this two years ago but here’s James Howard Kunstler saying the same thing only way more sciencey (and with a totally contrived happy ending). Who knew Bush and crusty punks had so much in common?