Be the Baddest Bitch in Florida

A weekly roundup of anything fashion-related that's made us excited about having bodies that we can dress with clothes.

MARILYN MANSON RISES

Given that Hedi Slimane's understanding of the Saint Laurent brand hasn't quite gelled with that of the rest of the fashion world, imagine my squeals of excitement when I saw Marilyn Manson fronting their new campaign. Finally, Slimane had done something (accidentally?) right, by appointing the king of freaky 90’s acid-goth fashion as an ambassador of his mediocre at best SL line.

Marilyn Manson is a love or hate figure – much like soy milk or Nicki Minaj – but I have personally loved him, ever since I heard Holy Wood. I love his freaky-ass face and his unwavering dedication to hot but crazy, teenage girlfriends. The pictures of him and Rose Mcgowan from the late 1990s are practically glued to the back of my eyelids, and flash through my mind whenever I hear the words “romance” or “alcholic”. Sure, he’s kind of an incredibly annoying guy IRL, but fuck your hip-hop rudeboy fashion, Manson’s back, baby. PVC and everything.

OPENING CEREMONY X SPRING BREAKERS

Isn't it funny how Harmony Korine makes a film about mainstream culture, and suddenly all the shit we swore we wouldn't consider wearing again after 2009 has come full circle? If you told me literally last month that I'd be coveting white tracksuit bottoms covered in pink alien heads, I would have laughed you all the way to Victoria's Secret and asked you to stay there forever. Oh how fickle I am, because after seeing Vanessa Hudgens totally killing it in a graphic print, white, crop t-shirt and high tops, I am so ready to re-embrace my tweenage roots.

Thanks to Opening Ceremony we can all get pissed on watermelon Margarita mix looking like we just stepped out of a Spring Breakers-themed freshers night. They're releasing official merchandise including lurid bikinis, bandannas, hoodies and, of course, the notorious balaclava. Now, all I need is James Franco to snog me wearing grills, and I can die a happy woman.

MISSONI AND CONVERSE MADE MY FAVOURITE TRAINERS

I'm not sure how this happened, but apparently either Converse or Missoni have been closely monitoring many aspects of my life. I can't really think of a better explanation as to how they could have managed to design my absolute dream trainers. Soft, multicoloured, throwback running shoes that would work equally well on Kurt Kobain or Mildred Hubble.

A limited run of these trainers are currently available to buy in Converse and Missoni stores, or here in a selection of colours. But please DON'T buy them, because the quicker you do, the less likely it is that I'll ever manage to touch, smell and possibly steal a pair. They're amazing. Don't buy them. Please.

MORE BEAUTIFUL THAT BARBIE

Considering how obsessed everyone is with seeing celebrities without makeup, it was only a matter of time before someone proffered up an image of the most stereotypically beautiful woman in the world, sans the war paint.

Eddi Aguirre's interpretation of bare-faced Barbie has unsurprisingly gone viral and is raising questions about kids having realistic looking role-models; so they, basically, don’t grow up thinking they’re hideous. Apart from the traintracks, which lots of people are calling unnecessary (give her a head brace for all I care), to me, the whole thing is pretty well-executed and effective. See kids? We are all that puffy sometimes.

Previously – Screw You Ethnic Print Trousers