Stuff

Vagina mounting

By VICE Staff

Some people say that vaginas are strange to look at, but we agree with this anonymous latex-gloved guy, that they’re a thing of beauty and deserve to be honored. Maybe slicing them off human cadavers as keepsakes is traipsing a little too far into illegal, soulless territory, but surely his heart is in the right place, no? The only problem is, what’s the point of a flat, taxidermied vagina? You arrange these flubbery babies neatly on your sideboard or tastefully light them in an antique curio cabinet and you’re going to lose your friends faster than a greased-up otter shooting down an ice luge filled with oil. You can’t fuck your collection because it’s practically in 2-D, and you’ve probably got to shellac the shit out of it to make it look like that, so licking and cuddling are out of the question too. But whatever you do, you probably shouldn’t just leave them on your kitchen floor like this guy. Numbers 32 and 51 are just begging for the cat to come and chew ‘em up. Plus, that’s got to be the most hideous linoleum we’ve ever fucking seen. Don’t click any further if you’ve eaten any beef jerky in the last 48 hours, are hungover, under 25 (seriously, this is harsh), or plan on considering yourself a decent human being ever again.