How Did DHL Ruin New York Fashion Week?

While we at VICE Style toil to bring you in-depth articles about prostitute-managed fashion labels in Sao Paulo, transvestites wearing bikinis made out of rats, Japanese kids who inject bagels into their faces and photo shoots set amongst suburban tower blocks in Russia, deep down we know that, really, all you want is quick, 30-second hits of dumb, weird, funny fashion news. That's why we created Tidbits, our frequently updated aggregator of all the dumbest, weirdest and funniest stuff we see, watch, hear or read on the fashion part of the internet. Here are this week's best.

NYFW: CROP CIRCLES

threeASFOUR

Who: threeASFOUR, a threesome of lovers who used to be four, and their gang of 14 studio elves.

What: There's a lot of laser-cut leather in organic, fractal-like forms wrapping around legs, heads and torsos. Disjointed scenery panelling and lots of strangely named textiles like sky foam, rubberised wool, pewter leather and pasage tapestry.

How: Yoko Ono was there! And there's a silver crop circle set designed by Courtney Cain Saunders and probably inspired by sacred geometry. The show opened with six crystal bowl-playing musicians called Arc Ra wearing silky white oracle outfits. They were sort of wailing softly and seemed to really appeal to Terence Koh, who was also in the front row. Since he generally likes all white things and shaman chic, I'm thinking this must really have been doing it for him.

Vibe: Designing clothes for Björk is still in.

NYFW: BARTMAN

JEREMY SCOTT

Who: Jeremy Scott is a master at turning pop icons into accessible streamlined fashion, that somehow stays un-bastardised.

What: The runway looked like a sea-punk night gone disco, with tinted wigs and kaleidoscopic prints covering skintight crop-tops and seriously bell-bottomed flares. The obvious decade got a nod too, with Bart Simpson, Lisa Frank sticker designs and old-as-hell PC screengrabs adorning sweaters, pants and see-through coats. Essentially, it was Charlotte Free and Molly Soda's tumblr walking down a runway, the former really was walking down the runway.  

How: The soundtrack sounded like the collection: 70s disco cut up with the "you've got mail", sound bite that dominated every PC speaker of the late 90s. The guests were like Nylon's wet dream – just saying – Terry Richardson, Sky Ferreira, Cory Kennedy, Johnny Makeup, Terrence Koh and the Cobrasnake.

Vibe: PC screengrabs are in.

NYFW: LIVE 3D PRINTING

ASHER LEVINE

Who: Asher Levine is a bit fashion-geeky, but honestly, I'm glad this sort of line exists. It's all about futuristic men and I'm personally big into that, right now.

What: There are Edward Scissorhands-esque rubber gloves, blinking yellow epaulets and Transformers-like shoes and bags. Fluorescent 3D printers automatically craft plastic sunglasses alongside the models, who stand on astro-turf and don them once they've been printed out. It's hard to make menswear masculine and exciting, so I appreciate ventures like this into superhero form – it feels right, albeit a tad obvious. Also, all the guys were super-hot, in a totally straight way.

How: The show was in a dimly-lit room in a library, so they only let us in a few at a time. It felt a bit like a haunted house, i.e., creepy and lonely.

Vibe: Looking like a streamlined, gamer-boy from the future is in.

NYFW: DHL DELIVERS

DHL

What: SCREAM. Who made these?!? Apparently being the Official Logistics Partner at New York Fashion Week gives a company artistic license to create ball gown monsters out of shipping boxes and feel relevant. Even if your brand colours are ketchup and mustard. A girl named Grace said it best, "Can you send me the DHL print tarpaulin that the lady used in the show? I love DHL."

How: DHL have also been forcing DHL plastic carrier bags on everyone to carry all their fashion week daily junk in so we all look like mail carriers.

Summary: Cardboard couture is in.

NYFW: NICOPANDA

NICOPANDA

Who: Nicola Formichetti is majorly into tumblr and we know that's where he gets all his Sailor Moon-inspired styling ideas. So, naturally, a Nicola Formichetti X tumblr sounds like a lot of potential nerdy fun with iPads, but it turns out to be the launch for a new Sanrio/ kidrobot-type tumblr character franchise, based on himself, called Nicopanda. I don't really think Nicola is fat enough to be considered a panda, but he is really cute, IRL.

What: Tweens and wannabe tweens are gonna love this. NicoPanda rings, T-shirts with #Formichetti hashtags, panda bear plush wallets, iPad and iPhone covers and stickers that say 'NicoPanda Says Fuck Fashion!'

How: The party at Red Egg ran from 7-10PM on a Thursday, which would've super-lame if we weren't all blind drunk from all the free "organic" vodka within an hour of arriving. The whole tumblr office was there and a handful of fashion people. Nicola was perched on the bar throwing back cranberry vodkas and taking pictures with everyone. I kept being handed free NicoPanda tumblr T-shirts all night, which I will sell on ebay.co.jp for lots of money. I couldn't find David Karp anywhere, which sucks because he is a hot rich nerd.

Vibe: Batman underpants are in.

Previously: Why Not Wrap Your Penis In a Stocking This Valentine's

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