Watch the Election Debate with us (Kind of)
When I tell you that I'm covering tonight's final televised election debate for Vice on both Facebook and Twitter, you shouldn't be too impressed. It amounts to little more than me getting drunk on my own and ridiculing three ambitious men in 140 characters or less for two hours straight. Still, that might be fun, so you should follow my progress from eight o'clock, either here or here. I think I might do some sort of political bingo drinking game you can play as well.
All you have to do is spot any of these things happen, tweet about it with the tag: #Vicegate and you get points (or a chance to drink, if you're playing the boozy version). If you're not drinking though, the game is largely pointless as it's only really designed to give you something to do while you’re paying your democratic dues by not changing channel for two hours. If you are drinking, you'll need a lot of booze.
So, just to reiterate, each time you see one of these things happen, you tweet about it with the tag: #Vicegate and have a huge gulp of Stella or Pimms or whatever.
Gordon Brown freaking out like a lumbering giant.
David Cameron ripping off the Queen’s wave.
Use of Brown’s bigot gaffe to prove that he’s the real bigot around here.
Weird Brown mouth thing.
Clegg referring to “these two” as though they’re Chico and Harpo.
Pandering to ethnic minorities who probably don't actually watch English TV.
Rehearsed Gag about the other two parties e.g. “boys at bath time”.
Calling Nick Clegg’s policies wacky or strange in an attempt to suggest he's just a crazy kid with no clue about the real world.
The nipple tweak. When a party member, looking at the camera, presses his thumb against his curled index finger and moves it up and down.
Brown says, “Just the other day”.
Anyone calls bullshit on anyone.
Clegg says something like, “We can all agree on…”
Brown swaying from side to side dangerously.
Invoking the spirit of Churchill when talking about something mundane, like trains.
Cameron avoiding Brown’s staring eye.
Brown and Cameron ganging up on Clegg.
Cameron or Clegg referring to an abstract "change".
Talk of tough times.
Cameron takes his tie off.
Brown cosies up to Clegg obsequiously.
Clegg rejects Brown’s attempts to cosy up to him obsequiously.
Cameron makes up a black friend.
Audience carrying Clegg out in victory celebration.
Anyone referring to "time spent with Barack Obama".
Talking about their hero, Nelson Mandela.