Passed Out Juggalos is a crew of girls in their underpants who terrorise the sleepy Faygo people at the Gathering of the Juggalos. When I first came across them, I became aroused, then intrigued. I used to subscribe to the popular opinion that all juggalos are extras from Deliverance, but these half-naked girls made me want to know more. I wanted to hear all about the POJ straight from their smirky, potty-mouthed faces, so I stalked these mad bitches all over the country.
I discovered that most of them live in Sacramento. One is in Louisville. I’m now officially a weird and obsessive person with a collection of human heads, probably. There are five POJ regulars, making them kind of like the Spice Girls, if the Spice Girls were into paralytic clowns. The three I spoke to are: Killette (OCD germaphobe), Neveah (has a taint piercing), and Ryan (got a guy’s name).
VICE: I get the impression that you girls might be strippers.
Killette: I’m the only one who isn’t. The other girls are though, yeah.
Nevaeh: I’m a stripper. It makes sense, I guess!
Do any juggalos ever come into your club, Nevaeh?
Nevaeh: It has happened, but not very often. I’ve never been recognised on the street from POJ. I think it’s because my… face doesn’t really show a lot in the pictures. I do have some fans because of my pictures. Yeah. That’s what I’ve heard. “This guy’s just in love with you, that guy thinks you’re awesome…” I’m apparently a Twitter star because of my X-rated pictures. That’s enough for me. I really don’t care if people, like, point me out and say, “Oh shit, there’s the girl who shows her snatch all over POJ!” It’s whatever.
Are you technically “juggalettes”?
Killette: Yes. I call myself a juggalo, but “juggalette” came around in 1999 or 2000. It’s all the same shit, though. I have been one since I was like 13, and I’m 26 now.
Ryan: Oh no, no. I feel like juggalos are a little bit more extreme. They’re really into it. I’m into the music and everything, but it’s not my thing, it’s not my identity. They take everything about it very seriously: the artists, the music, the lifestyle, getting tattoos of hatchet man and all that stuff.
Nevaeh: No. I just like the music. They do a lot of crazy shit and I like to do a lot of crazy shit. I don’t claim to be a juggalo or juggalette. You know, everything happens with a little bit of alcohol in my world. I’m known to drop trou when I’m wasted. Especially now, 'cause I got my taint pierced.
A taint piercing?
Nevaeh: You’ve never seen one?
I don’t even know what a taint is. [Editors' note: Toby is new around here and has some archival reading to catch up on.]
Nevaeh: OK. It’s the spot between… the taint is really on a guy. It’s the spot between your balls and your asshole – the gooch, or whatever. I have the spot in between my pussy and my asshole pierced.
You’re my favourite. What’s it really like out there at a Gathering?
Killette: There are some people who are fucking retarded. But, juggalo or not, there are just people in general who are retarded. There are retarded-ass juggalos who act stupid, but I don’t personally know them. I don’t hang out with retarded people.
Neveah: That’s a really common misconception. It’s crazy because very few are like that, but they’re the ones who make everyone else look like dumb-asses. Everybody I talked to was hella cool. They all came from different parts of the country. Some people came from other countries. It’s like something out of a story, and you kinda just make it how you wanna make it. You choose your own path in there. I met some hippies, I met some gypsies, I met carnies… then I met blue-collar, very high-class people. Then I met white-trash people. I met everybody!
Killette: It depends on where you’re from in the US. Most juggalos are from the Midwest. I’m from the West Coast, and that’s not how it is out here. Juggalos over here are actually quite different to juggalos from the Midwest, or the south. East Coast juggalos are the only ones I can compare to West Coast juggalos. They’re very similar. It’s more, I guess, hip-hop and ghetto influenced, whereas the South and Midwest is more… hillbilly influenced.
Neveah: I had my tarot cards read by a gypsy at the Gathering. He was crazy. The guy had the sleeves ripped off his t-shirt, total white trash-style, but his reading was so dead on that I looked at him and told him how much he was fucking my mind. It tripped me out. Everything he talked about happened. That was the craziest $3 I ever spent.
Killette: I’ve had some weird incidents, too. One time I had this guy come up and grab my hair and he just goes [makes deep inhaling noise, followed by a sigh], and I was like, “Whoa, you need to stand back; please back up.” Another time a guy came up to me, got right up in my face and was like, “Will you punch me, please? Will you just hit me so hard in my face? I’ll love it.” I was like, “Oh… no?”
Ryan: I think a lot of people think juggalos are super dirty and white trash. They think they’re a gang. That’s stupid. A lot of people prejudge them. Honestly, the Gathering is one of the tightest things I’ve ever been to. There’s nothing like it. When I tell people about it, I tell them it’s like Woodstock with rap. People will judge it, but everyone loves each other, pretty much. I’ve seen a couple fights break out, but they were both split up right away. When that happens, they’ll put the people who were fighting in juggalo jail. Have you heard about that yet?
No, what’s the deal?
Ryan: Oh my gosh. OK, in Hogrock, where they have the Gathering, there are these, like, stripper poles, but they look like bird cages. When people fight or do something bad, they’ll put them in juggalo jail and leave them in there without a set release time – they’ll lock up the door and stuff. They have their own system of dealing with people.
Meanwhile, you ladies “capture juggalos at their most vulnerable moments and expose them.”
Killette: I think it’s hella fresh. We are not making fun of anyone, I swear. We do this to our friends, too. If you pass out, you’re getting fucked with. That’s the rules. ICP doesn’t pay us to do it, which is a rumour that’s been going around on the internet. We don’t even know ICP.
Neveah: It’s hella funny, because you see people hella passed out in these crazy positions that look so uncomfortable. What could be better than putting your ass right in their faces? They have no idea.
Killette: They’re all fucked up. They’re all really, really drunk and we know they’re gonna be drunk, so we just wait. We usually do it at around 6 or 7AM.
Ryan: Oh yeah. We look, we look. I’ll toot my own horn and say that I’m the best at finding passed out people. I see a silhouette of someone hunched over and I’m like, “Let’s go.” I remember somebody was passed out by one of the tents one time with, like, poles and stuff around. Kali climbed up there and spread her legs. Who would think to do that? Her and Killette are the most likely to go inside people’s cars and shit and lie next to them and cuddle with them, like spoon them.
Killette: I don’t really make skin-on-skin contact, though. I don’t actually touch anybody. The other girls have, but not me. I’m a neat freak. I’m one of those people who puts hand sanitiser on every 30 seconds.
The Gathering sounds like the wrong place for OCD clean machines.
Killette: I know. It’s crazy, right? All my friends are like, “How the fuck?” I carry the hand sanitiser with me at all times. I go in the RV constantly and baby-wipe my whole body.
Does anything ever go horribly wrong when you guys are doing your thing?
Ryan: Probably ten percent of them wake up. They’re in a haze. What would you do if you woke up and some girl’s ass was in your face? I think one time this guy woke up and was like, “Cool.” Then he went back to sleep.
Killette: We’re like little schoolgirls, too. If they wake up, we run away laughing, like hella stupid and shit. Who cares? When I graduate college and have my bachelor's and stuff, I’m gonna be a psychologist. Can you imagine me being a psychologist? In, like, one year.
Ryan: Kali doesn’t care. She’ll get right on top of people’s faces, basically. Guys will be, like, grabbing her ass and shit because they don’t know what’s going on. At the same time, it’s funny too, because now more juggalos know about it. I swear people are gonna start pretending to be asleep.
What kind of response does POJ get from the public?
Killette: We get hate mail all the time, like, “You nasty sluts! You no-talent whores!” Anything you can think of. It’s usually jealous girls, sometimes guys. If we’re so shitty, why do we have over 10,000 likes? Honestly, it’s because we’re just hot girls showin’ our asses, y’know?
Ryan: I’m still trying to figure out if I can go to the next Gathering. My brother – he’s not blood-related, but he might as well be – is getting married the same weekend, so I have to pick. I’m still not sure yet. Sadly I am leaning toward the Gathering. I’m sure he’s only gonna get married once, but it’s the Gathering!
Killette: It’s the best scene to be in. You’ve seen our pictures – does it not look like we’re having a great time? I’ve watched Vanilla Ice perform almost every year at the Gathering. Vanilla Ice! He was like one of the biggest rap stars in all of music! When I was 16 years old in 2003, he was at the Gathering, and I just wanna say, I smoked with him.
Would you POJ Vanilla Ice?
Killette: Yeah. I would get him. I would get him hardcore.
Follow Toby on Twitter: @jane_tobes
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