Weekend News, Digested
WIKILEAKS' FIGHT FOR TRANSPARENCY CONTINUES TO PUSH US CLOSER TO WAR
Diplomats around the world have had their pants pulled down again by Wikileaks, who've made public over 250,000 classified "cable" messages sent to and from the US embassy. So far we've learned that the Saudi king wants America to attack Iran, that Russia is a "virtual mafia state" and that Colonel Gadaffi likes blonde Ukrainian nurses with big tits.
UNIVERSITY FOR STRATEGIC OPTIMISM
Some people who look like students occupied Lloyds Bank on Borough High Street for five minutes and someone named after a character from an Emile Zola book gave an art-prank lecture about how bad the bankers are.
LESLIE NIELSEN DIED
Did you know proto-Will Ferrell Leslie Nielsen's mother was a Welsh immigrant from Fulham? That's a slap in the face for anyone who's ever claimed Canada can be funny.
ETERNAL YOUTH NOW POSSIBLE
Some scientists from Harvard have found a protein in the bodies of mice they think might be the key to eternal youth (much to the chagrin of Leslie Nielsen).
BIG CATS ON THE RAMPAGE IN UK?
Something's been mutilating sheep in Lancashire and South Wales. Beast Of Bodmin jealous of attention.