Question of the Day

What Were Those Things Hitting Russia from the Sky This Morning?

By Jim Roberts


Photo by tonynetone

A meteor fell to Earth this morning, hitting Chelyabinsk in Russia, blowing up a zinc factory and scaring lots of people, who thought it could be anything from an alien attack to a failed missile test to a very late attack from someone in the US still hung up on the Cold War. We spoke to an astrologist, who told us that it was most definitely a meteor, but, you know, some people are mental and jump to crazy conclusions about stuff.

We wanted to find some of those mental people, so went for a walk around London and asked some people a question: What were those things hitting Russia from the sky this morning?    

Lucy: I think it's just a meteor.

VICE: Really? You don't reckon it could be aliens?
No, it's definitely not aliens. Although, if it was aliens I think we should be welcoming them down rather than blowing them up.

You think it was a bad thing they shot it down? 
Well, if there’s something we can do to cause fewer deaths, then I guess it's alright to shoot it down.

Julien: I'm not sure what it was, but it does make you think, doesn't it? You see this kind of stuff in films and think 'That will never happen in my lifetime.' So, when it does happen, it makes step back and mull it over a little bit. 

If another comes towards Britain, do you think we should do an Armageddon and send Bruce Willis up there to blow it up?
Yeah, if we can stop it, then why not? If you can protect a country and its people, then you definitely should.

A lot of people have been saying it's maybe an alien attack – what do you say to that?
I don't think it's an alien attack, no. You do always get your conspiracy theorists with this kind of thing, though. Mind you, it's incredibly naive to think that there aren't aliens out there. A recent report said that there are a 100 million planets in the universe, so there has to be something.

Would you welcome aliens?
It depends how well they were dressed.

What if they were wearing tuxes?
Well, you'd trust them more, wouldn't you? They'd have a certain panache, which is always good.

Steve: It's nothing out of the ordinary. As a planet flying around the sun, it's inevitable that something like that would happen.

Would you be more worried if it was over Britain?
It doesn’t worry me at all, mate. It's statistically just as likely that a meteor is going to land on us as we talk now than it is anywhere else in the world.

If one was heading for us, do you think we should try to shoot it away or just leave it and hope for the best?
You'd need too much energy to shift it, so yeah, I think we should absorb the consequences.

Brave and reckless – you're a real man.

Rob: Yeah, I saw that – it looked sick. I'm not too sure what it was, though.

It was just a big light show for you?
Yeah, it just looked really cool. Although, I did see that there were some people injured, which isn't as cool, obviously.

What if it was aliens? Would you be freaking out right now?
That would be pretty interesting, but I reckon it's just some rocks. But yeah, depending on what they were like, I'd be into aliens. If they were angry, then obviously I wouldn't be, but if they seemed nice, I'd be like, "Hey, let's go party!"

Right on, Rob!

Robbie: I'm pretty sure it’s the end of the world, to be honest.

Oh, we're all fucked, are we? Should we be living out everything on our bucket lists?
Well, we should be doing that regardless of whether it's the end of the world or not.

Good point. What do you think about the theory that it was an alien attack?
I would say that’s, like, somewhere in the 50/50 region.

What would you do if it was an alien attack?
I think I'd add some of them on Facebook and stalk them for a bit to see what they're like, then maybe after that we could hang out, you know?

Oh, I know, Robbie – I know.

Meg: No, I've been completely oblivious. I knew there was supposed to be a meteor flying really close to the earth, but I didn't know one was actually going to hit us.

Do you think it's the beginning of the end?
I was in a really good mood until you said that. But if it is the beginning of the end, then so be it – there's not a lot we can do. But if the Russians are involved, then it's bound to be a bit sinister. 

Some people reckon it's aliens.
No, I don't think aliens would go for Russia – they'd go for America, surely. But I think we should welcome aliens, anyway. As long as they have a grasp of social and economic stuff, then, as John Lennon would say, "Let it be".

What would you ask an alien if they came to visit? 
The first thing I'd ask is, "Do you understand what you see when you look in the mirror?"

Fair enough.

Previously - Do You Have a Message For Kim Jong-Un?

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