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After a short-lived sunbathe I was convoyed to a restaurant for dinner with some Germans who didn't speak to me.The restaurant wasn't actually a restaurant at all. It was a deli in an upper-class market, like a Whole Foods but without the pretence of healthiness, just fatty meats and fine wines. In there, I ate some of the finest foods to have ever touched my peasant tongue: cured meats, chorizo, white truffle brie, kobe beef patties, slices of steak that were inexplicably alabaster in colour, a lovely Rioja. I felt like Rick Stein exploring the delicious underbelly of the Spanish capital, my dog in tow, doing pieces to camera about how sumptuous the iberico ham is. I drank a lot of red wine and champagne as they were topped up constantly without me even noticing.
We were treated to a snippet of film as a teaser to the big event. It was about ten seconds long and provided absolutely no answers as to what would happen later. What on earth was will.i.am and his army of luxury motor vehicles going to do? Why had I been flown out to Madrid to stand in a posh deli, eat meats and be told to get excited?The convoy was once again setting sail, this time to the final destination: an abandoned airfield. The drive, we were told, was going to take an hour, which, when you're half cut and filled to burst, losing interest in anything that isn't more booze and fags by the millisecond, seems like an extraordinarily long time.
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When I say it was ridiculous, I don't mean, "Ha, insane! Lexus have done this ridiculous thing and #ItIsEverything!" I mean that it is bizarre that such a thing could ever exist. A combination of lighting, lasers, manpower, generators, vehicles, flights, fees for will.i.am, rental of the airspace, accommodation for everyone including us, the food, the refreshments, the champagne, the cured meats, it all must have cost an astronomical amount of money. And to what end?
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As you can see from the above video, the end result is quite impressive. The lasers look cool, the lights look great and I can imagine a sense of pride and achievement washed over those who participated in its creation. I suppose my confusion doesn't stem really from its existence as a piece of grandiose branded content, rather why someone saw fit for me to witness it in its infancy.
I had the chance to speak to will.i.am about it the next day. He is an extremely skittish man, unable to hold a gaze or a thought for more than a few seconds, constantly darting his eyes from the floor to yours and then back down again. He commended the work of the "wizards that made it, because to pull that off takes serious computer science skills". He spoke at length about the complexities of the operation, the effort it took, etc. I asked him, in my short ten minutes with him, what he has planned next. He told me he's working on Fergie's new album. Then we both stood in front of another large Lexus branded banner for our obligatory photo together, and that was it. My journey into the heart of branded content was over, in just 24 outlandishly opulent hours.
When you're working with that sort of money, the money itself becomes such a small object that it almost ceases to exist. Aside from the cab fare to and from the airport, and a pack of cigs, I spent no money, yet I was surrounded by it at every turn. I witnessed a marketing machine at its most Dadaist, a truly magnificent splurge of time and money that somehow made it quite endearing. Buy Lexus cars. Buy will.i.am records. It's the least you could do. They've gone to a lot of effort, here.@joe_bish