Nov 1, 2011
I think I wanted to fuck my fourth-grade teacher.
Nov 2, 2015
Chris Nieratko loves celebrity sex tapes and hates condoms.
Sep 30, 2015
Spoiler alert: If you're new to this column you should know I rarely ever speak about the porno I'm reviewing.
Apr 8, 2015
I was bored out of my mind last week, so I decided to attend my 20-year high school reunion. I don't know what I was thinking.
Mar 11, 2015
I don't know what it's like in most prisons, but if it's anything like what I endured—scheduling times to go skate between getting one kid on the bus and dropping the other off at preschool—then I truly feel sorry for the masses of incarcerated men and wo…
Feb 14, 2015
I'm not talking ironic hipster tattoos of bacon or Rambo; I'm talking praying hands pressed together holding a machete or an Uzi in preparation for a holy war.
Oct 20 2014
Joanna Angel completely ripped off my idea for a porno.
Sep 24, 2014
A good buddy I grew up skateboarding with just had his penis surgically removed.
Sep 3, 2014
When I was 19, I had a casual 'Mrs. Robinson' thing going on with a wonderful woman in her forties.
Jun 24, 2014
The spring of 2000 was the age of innocence before George W. Bush destroyed humanity.
Apr 14, 2014
Do you like people more than you like sleep?
Nov 11, 2013
More stupid from Chris Nieratko.