"I've played with someone's limp coke dick for an hour before. It sucked but... I needed the cash."
Transporting illegal drugs across borders is a business that can be as profitable as it can be lethal, while it has gained popularity since the economic crisis began.
Get the post-4AM YouTube song selection wrong and you'll become the after-hours Oppenheimer: skeletal reaper, destroyer of vibes.
"Why is everything so old-fashioned? Why do you still have gas stoves and why does everyone have baths without rinsing after?"
But you can't necessarily blame the drugs.
Last week it was revealed Richard Nixon had launched his war on drugs to target people he didn't like – but he's not the only one to use narcotics as a hammer to beat his enemies with.
Orgies, beatings and shifty-eyed teenage boys in tracksuits – my time waitressing at the Yangtze was a big, fat cliché.
Fourteen airmen at a nuclear missile base are under investigation for allegedly using illegal drugs, cocaine among them.
The actual cost of addiction can be catastrophic.
When I was a kid, my dad was a charming cowboy loved by his friends. But now the only thing left of that man is a bolo tie.
The 37-year old priest said that he collects "historical stuff" and doesn't have a drug problem: "It was just the one night and that was it."
Tom Wainwright's latest book, 'Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel', looks at the drug trade as if it were a legal business, finding common ground between the underworld and legitimate corporations.
Prosecutors say Lonnie Franklin, Jr. murdered ten black women and tried to kill one more. If convicted, he would be the longest-active serial killer in Los Angeles history.
Feb 16, 2016
In 1988, Dale Getty tried selling an ounce of coke to an undercover cop in an Edmonton motel room, and Family Day was born. Seriously.
Cocaine and booze, MDMA and K, GHB and mephedrone – we asked some experts to run us through the risks of various drug combinations.
As well as the ones they definitely want to remain illegal.
But, like: does it? Actually?
In this episode from season three of our HBO show, we traced the cocaine highway from Venezuela to the sinuses of Europeans. Then, we investigated India's growing industry of gestational surrogacy.
As drug cartels continue to change their trafficking routes to evade interference by authorities, enforcement agencies are struggling to keep up.
Looking back on little-reported moments in the life of the Thin White Duke.
This is how I learned to love the sharing economy.
Will the National Crime Agency's new video actually make a difference?
Don't try these at home.
With an average gram costing £130, it's not like there's a lack of demand.