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      Apocalyptic Dinner For One

      APOCALYPTIC DINNER FOR ONE - THE RECIPE What with the world ending in 2012 and all, it's time to start thinking about worst case scenarios, like "what the fuck do I eat in an apocalypse?" You're not going to be able to get a Dixy's bargain bucket when most of the population has been horribly radiated to death, so you'd better get yourself acquainted with thos...

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      APOCALYPTIC DINNER FOR ONE - THE RECIPE



      What with the world ending in 2012 and all, it's time to start thinking about worst case scenarios, like "what the fuck do I eat in an apocalypse?" You're not going to be able to get a Dixy's bargain bucket when most of the population has been horribly radiated to death, so you'd better get yourself acquainted with those scary, doesn't-even-have-a-sell-by-date foods at the back of your cupboard.

      Ingredients
      1 x tin Spam
      1x packet powdered batter
      lots x seasoning
      1 x packet Smash
      1 x tin mushy peas
      lots x gelatine
      lots x Kool-Aid

      SPAM FRITTERS

      Step 1.

      Chop Spam into slices, the chunkier the better.

      Step 2.

      Then mix together your dry powdered batter with some seasoning.

      Step 3.

      Now dump in the Spam slices and give them a dust bath in the batter until well covered.

      Step 4.

      Fry Spam until golden looking... or edible, whutevs.

      SMASHY PEAS

      Step 1.

      Put dry smashy potatoes in a bowl.

      Step 2.

      Dump in mushy peas and stir until it's all a green sludge. That's literally it.

      MASS CULT SUICIDE JELLY

      Step 1.

      Melt the powdered gelatine in water.

      Step 2.

      Next, dump in A LOT of Kool-Aid powder in and stir until smooth.

      Step 3.

      Pour the whole thing into a jelly mold, brain shaped obvs, unless you're boring.

      Step 4.

      Leave to set.

      Serve everything up in your bunker and share with nobody. Happy Apocalypse idiots!

      Bone-appetit!

      JOANNA FUERTES-KNIGHT

      @fuertesknight

      Previously: Girl Eats Food - Filipino blood Stew

      Really fucking hungry? Check out Joanna Fuertes-Knight's (totally free) online cookbook! It's got every Girl Eats Food recipe ever in it.

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