Cornershop Cocktails

CORNERSHOP COCKTAILS - THE RECIPE

They may be the flamboyant gay man of the alcohol world, but that doesn't mean cocktails can't be made for the common scumbag like you and I. So, with a bit of imagination and some non-kitchen ingredients, you can get crunk on cavity-inducing hooch too. Jambrini Royale

Ingredients
plop x strawberry jam
shot x vodka
lots x Lambrini Step 1.

Dollop some jam into a champagne flute.

Step 2.

Swig in a shot of vodka to break up the jam.

Step 3.

Top up with your fizzy slag piss.

Step 4.

For a finishing touch, smear you rim with more jam. Martini Puppy

Ingredients
lots x fresh pineapple
lots x Mad Dog 20/ 20
ice for crushing
even more vodka Step 1.

Blend your pineapple in a, umm, blender.

Step 2.

Crush some ice and fill a martini glass.

Step 3.

Slop over pineapple sludge

Step 4.

Finish by topping with vodka and Mad Dog Creme De Mouthwash

Ingredients
1 x bottle vanilla milkshake
1 x capful of mint mouthwash
1 x bottle WKD Blue Step 1.

Pour vanilla milkshake into any old jar.

Step 2.

Add a capful… or shot of minty mouthwash.

Step 3.

Empty in your bottle of WKD.

Step 4.

Shake vigorously.

Step 5.

Put into a fancy glass.

Bottoms up to your trio of cornershop cocktails. Happy buttfucking y'all!

JOANNA FUERTES-KNIGHT

@fuertesknight

Previously: Girl Eats Food - Olympic Energy Nachos

Really fucking hungry? Check out Joanna Fuertes-Knight's (totally free) online cookbook! It's got every Girl Eats Food recipe ever in it.