Drunken Jerk Chicken Patty

DRUNKEN JERK CHICKEN - THE RECIPE

Notting Hill Carnival is the best. The only thing that lets it down (apart from all the crime, LOL!) is the overpriced food being sold to white people with cultural guilt. Like, what's the point of having to clutch a polystyrene box full of goat curry if I can't dance with it? And how do I know that jerk chicken that's been sitting in the sun for five hours isn't going to give me the skitters? So, here's my portable and pre-cooked carnival patty.

Ingredients Patty Dough
4 x cups flour
salt and pepper
1 x teaspoon ground turmeric
1 x teaspoon curry powder
1 x cup butter
1 x cup water Jerk Chicken Rub
(just guestimate amounts, jeez, I can't tell you everything guys)
1 x whole chicken
1 x can beer
1 x shot rum
as many as your mouth can take x scotch bonnets
lots x garlic
salt and pepper
cinnamon
coriander seeds
grated nutmeg
allspice
ginger
lime juice Step 1.

Thoroughly mix all the patty ingredients together into a squidgy dough. Then set aside to chill. Step 2.

For the jerk seasoning rub, mush up all the ingredients with a pestle and mortar. Step 3.

Next, lube up the chicken with oil so the outside stays nice and soft. Step 4.

Then rub the whole chicken down with your, erm, rub. Step 5.

To keep the bird nice and moist when cooking, you're going to shove a beer can up its butt. So, lube up the can, throw in some of the excess rub and add a shot of rum for that extra tropical flavor.

Step 6.

Carefully shove the whole thing in the oven. Step 7.

To finish the bird and give it that proper carnival flavor, brown it on a barbecue. Step 8.

Dump everything in a blender and whizz into a mush. Step 9.

Slop some jerk mush into your pre-made patty dough and finish in the oven.

Step 10.

So there you go, a patty that'll keep you going right through the carnival weekend!

Bone-appetit!

JOANNA FUERTES-KNIGHT

@fuertesknight

Previously: Girl Eats Food - Cornershop Cocktails

Really fucking hungry? Check out Joanna Fuertes-Knight's (totally free) online cookbook! It's got every Girl Eats Food recipe ever in it.