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      Olympic Energy Nachos

      OLYMPIC ENERGY NACHOS - THE RECIPE I don't know about you, but we're only a few days in to London 2012, and all this talk of sprinting and jumping over shit and cycling at 70 miles per hour against tattooed packs of German lesbians has knackered me out already. So, to keep up with all the high-octane Olympics watching you'll be doing on your sofa that stinks of fags, Dorito...

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      OLYMPIC ENERGY NACHOS - THE RECIPE

      I don't know about you, but we're only a few days in to London 2012, and all this talk of sprinting and jumping over shit and cycling at 70 miles per hour against tattooed packs of German lesbians has knackered me out already. So, to keep up with all the high-octane Olympics watching you'll be doing on your sofa that stinks of fags, Doritos and spilt Guinness, here's a tasty take on the TV treat that is nachos. Only these are jam-packed with all the magic medicines athletes use to keep them chirpy, so there'll be no more falling asleep in front of the dressage for you guys.

      Ingredients

      Energy Tablet Nachos

      1 x pack of corn tortillas
      Lots x dextrose energy tablets

      Step 1.

      Cut your tortillas into nachos with a tiny pair of (FRESHLY CLEANED) pube scissors that make you feel like that 50ft Voldemort thing from the opening ceremony when you use them.


      Step 2.



      Crush dextrose tablets in a pestle and mortar till you have something I like to call "Dwain Chambers Berocca".


      Step 3.

      Sprinkle the powder over your nachos with some oil and seasoning and then bake in a hot oven.

      Cod Liver Salsa

      Lots x fresh tomatoes
      Coriander
      Lots x cod liver oil tablets

      Step 1.

      Chop up your tomatoes and coriander for the salsa.

      Step 2.

      Add chopped-up cod liver oil tablets and more lime-flavoured energy tablets. It's vital that you stare at it really, really close, like this picture suggests you should. Looks neat, huh? Like a termite colony, or something.

      Muscle Max Melt

      Loads of cheddar cheese
      1 x tablespoon Muscle Max

      Melt the cheese over a bain-marie with Muscle Max until it forms into a righteous fondue slop.

      Guarana Guacamole

      3 x avocados
      Seasoning
      1 x swig of guarana



      For the guacamole, mush up your avocado with seasoning and slop in some guarana.



      Finally, dump all your energy laden snacks together and enjoy the Olympics from the comfort of your sofa while buzzing like you just swallowed Queen Latifah's vibrator.

      Bone-appetit!

      JOANNA FUERTES-KNIGHT

      @fuertesknight

      Previously: Girl Eats Food - Fake Cheese Cheesecake

      Really fucking hungry? Check out Joanna Fuertes-Knight's (totally free) online cookbook! It's got every Girl Eats Food recipe ever in it.

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