• Goodbye to All That (the End for Now)

    Amphetamine Logic was kind of making me psychotic. I sat down for lunch with my agent at an overpriced bistro on Park Avenue South. "So Cat," Byrd Leavell, literary agent extraordinaire, said. "What's new?"

  • The End, Part One

    Amphetamine Logic is coming to an end. I am better and I will continue to get better, and it doesn't matter to me that you don't want to believe this, or don't understand what it means.

  • The Cockroach and the Cokehead

    May 2012: I quit my job and burn all my bridges so I can swim. I won't realize that was wishful thinking until a few months later. Summer starts gliding by like a sailboat. I master the Dead Man's Float. I'm not working and life is a lazy river; I'm a pinecone that's been dropped…

  • Graffiti, Crackheads, More Cocaine, Miami (Bitch)

    I’m sleeping alone in the backseat of a parked rental car at 5 AM in a terrible neighborhood in Miami when the door opposite me clicks open and a grizzly old black drunk man slides in next to me, shutting the car door behind him. His eyes and skin are the color of urine, and he s…

  • Coke Sex for Teen Sluts

    Sometimes when a dick is inside me I can’t help but think about my family. I know that sounds totally gross, but I don’t mean it in, like, an incestuous way. My dad never fucked me or anything. I think it has more to do with guilt, you know, or I’m ashamed, for whatever nutty rea…

  • Dawn of the Dustheads

    It's 5 AM on a Thursday and Same and I are in my apartment in the East Village, high on PCP and surrounded. All of the men are nursing 40 oz. Ballantines and the girls they brought are strangers, looking around at my strange life and into my mirrored coffee tables as they reappl

  • Disappeared

    A few days ago the text came. It was from a 202 number—D.C. "Call Paul at 202XXXXXXX or your dad if you want to know what's going on," it read.

  • Bloodsuckers and Condé Nast-ys

    Three years ago I was running around with sociopaths and addicts. Predators who took me to the projects to spend my money on crack and heroin and snap obscene Polaroids of me when I fell asleep.

  • Blonde on (Very Famous) Blonde

    It’s the 'Purple Magazine' party during Fashion Week and I’m at a booth with my friends. And then there's Lindsay Lohan.

  • Nothing Is Wrong If It Feels Good

    It's a sunny afternoon in Soho and I've had five glasses of champagne with a married celebrity at a bar. I’m spun like a kite from gobbling Dexedrine all week. Amphetamine Logic is about to step in.

  • The Aftermath

    If you live in my neighborhood, maybe you’ve seen me. If you read beauty and style blogs, or the "Page Six" in the past week, you’ve probably at least heard of me. My name is Cat Marnell.

  • The Dessert Psycho

    I’ve worked in just enough restaurants to recognize an abnormally large pastry station when I see one. It was January, and I was standing in the kitchen below Del Posto, one of New York’s most prestigious restaurants.