Filipino Blood Stew
FILIPINO BLOOD STEW - THE RECIPE
The Philippines! The jewel of the orient, purveyors of the greatest hip-hop dance troupes, and probz the most colonized place in the world. But although I'm a proud half-Filipina, the cuisine has always left me wondering "WTF"?! So to conquer my fears and appease my mother, I decided to tackle some of their weirder dishes. First up, blood stew.
lots x pork loin
1 x pack pig guts
4 cups x of pig’s blood
3 x bell peppers
lots x garlic, crushed and minced
lots x chopped onions
2 cups x stock
Chop up your meat and piggy poop tubes. Try not to hurl.
Fry off all the pig with your onions, garlic, and pepper.
Pour in the blood and stock, then leave to simmer into a big brown mush.
To wash your tasty blood-bath down, here's a super quick pudding that only requires cream and an industrial amount of the sweet purple yam "ube."
lots x pureed ube
lots x ube jam
lots x ube powder
lots x whipping cream
lots x icing sugar
lots x pickled coconut gel
you get the drift by now x macapuno balls
lots x sugar palm
Whip up some cream with icing sugar until puffy.
Fold in every form of ube ever that you bought from your Filipino shop until you get the perfect purple sludge.
Layer in a fancy glass with your rainbow-colored pickled shit.
So with only minor lasting trauma, here's a main meal of AZN deliciousness fit for the most patriotic of Filis, followed by a dessert with more yam than you can shake a jumbo pack of laxatives at. Mabuhay!
Previously: Girl Eats Food - Vegan Meat Feast Pizza
Really fucking hungry? Check out Joanna Fuertes-Knight's (totally free) online cookbook! It's got every Girl Eats Food recipe ever in it.
Photos of the Bathrooms and Kitchens of America's Bachelors
Stop Panicking About Getting Older, You Pricks
How Airbnb Makes Tax Day So Much Worse
Advice for the Twitter Professional at US Airways Who Tweeted Hardcore Porn
VICE News: Love, Serve, Surrender: An Alleged Pedophile's Perfect Scam
Do Politicians Give a Shit About Climate Change Now?
The Duke Porn Star Is Pornhub's Newest Intern
The Many Mysteries of Al Sharpton
Are Google and Facebook Just Pretending They Want Limits on NSA Surveillance?
In Defense of the Basic Bitch