HELP SAVE AMY'S ARM

By VBS Staff


Amy is also the possessor of two of the most sloppy, stuck-n-poked five-pointed stars we’ve ever seen. Take a look at these guys; we’re not even sure if the one at her elbow meets the legal definition of “star.” Needles to say (!), in the years since their creation, these two pieces have faded into a constellation of mild regret.

“The wrist one was given to me by a girl in college who ended up being the worst person in the world,” Amy dished to us, juicily. “The elbow one was just the result of a bored, painkillered afternoon. It was originally supposed to be 666, but I panicked after the first six and turned it into a star. I was afraid of unintentionally rendering myself forever unemployable. Also that Satan laughing would spread his wings, oh lord yeah.”

Right now Amy’s shopping for ideas to transform these twin smudges into something worthy of sharing armspace with her shoulder piece, and your ideas are invited! Here are the chief criteria for her coverup:

-It should be inspiring.
-When I look at it, it will cheer me up when I’m blue. [these are all quotes by the way]
-Something that will calm me, and give me peace of mind.
-It can be a word or words, like an Andrew WK kind of inspirational message. No faggy tribal symbols though. You know what I mean? Like those Chinese symbols for “strength” or whatever. Take out “faggy” though, I shouldn’t say “faggy.”
-It can be funny, like a joke. A visual joke.
-Nothing bigger than a band-aid, since I’m going to have to band-aid them up any time I’m visiting my parents. Also, I’m 35.

So there you go; she’s looking to get this done sometime in the next week, so better get your suggestions in soonish. Also, let’s keep it tasteful, people. This is Amy’s arm, not Open Mic at the Tickle Factory.

By VBS Staff 2 years ago

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