INCOMPREHENSIBLE 10TH BIRTHDAY

By ALEX DUNBAR

There’s something so fishy about kids motivated to break pointless records. If an adult wants to make the world’s largest Lincoln Log cabin it means their bored of life and need something to fixate their attention. Goals, pointless or not, help adults construct meaning. Kids shouldn’t be bored or lost enough yet to need these distractions. If you’re from Warwick, NY, please find this kid and introduce him to skateboarding or guitar; anything to keep him away from this weirdo family.

Also, there’s something totally fucking weird about all these adults manhandling and leering at a kid in BVDs. He looks like an enormous baby being passed around in a religious rite.

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