• Bob Odenkirk’s Page

    Hopelessness

    Bob Odenkirk breaks down the word "hopelessness" in this depressing-ass poem that should be handed out to college students on class registration day. Because with a degree in something like embroidery, you'll be spending the rest of your life wallowing in—well, just check the tit…

  • Skinema

    No Warning 7: Ambushed

    I arrived back home in New Jersey the airport was full of fearful folk running around with their hands above their heads, doing the Steve Martin and screaming, “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” We were 24 hours away from getting ass-raped by Hurricane Sandy.

  • Employees of the Month

    Patrick is VICE Canada’s new managing editor, but dude’s been with us for quite a bit now. He bided his time by doing the boring shit like online-advertising operations until he told us Anonymous wanted to have a baby with him and started writing about the internet and other thin…

  • Comics

    Behind the Scenes at VICE Magazine

    Hey Thomas, Johnny hasn't turned in his new comic yet and he's not answering his phone or email. I want you to go out to his place and see what's up.

  • Hello, I Am Going to Die Because I Killed People

    A few months ago, a death-row inmate sent our music editor a fan letter. He seems like a nice guy on paper—on the other hand, he did shoot a guy, hack him into pieces, and put them into a suitcase.

  • What’s It Like Pulling Refugees Out of Australian Waters?

    Australia has to deal with thousands of illegal immigrants sneaking through its borders each year. We spoke to a patrol-boat sailor to find out what it’s really like out there on the wild sea.

  • Broken Hearts, Lost Minds, and Missing Limbs

    I am an American reporter. Aziz and I have worked together in Afghanistan since 2004. On this trip, I am reporting on the consequences of more than 30 years of war by spending time with a handful of its victims.

  • You Will Never Be as Rich as These Pets

    You’re going to die a poor, sad schmuck. But do you know who is rich? Animals! The following pets are all millionaires, and you’re still trying to use that expired student ID to get two bucks off at the movies on Tuesday night.

  • Combover

    Santa Daddy

    She walked into the other room and came back holding up a Santa suit. And you bet your ass I put it on. I put it on like it was my bar mitzvah suit and we had to be at temple in five minutes.

  • Li'l Thinks

    Realness, to the Extreme

    Couldn’t the consistently shitty foundation of almost everything we are and live with be some kind of necessary substructure of checks and balances? Like, a carefully evolutionary-ed trias politica, in the interest of maintaining a relatively stable level of the Fucking Worst Stu…

  • The Cute Show Page!

    Hawaiian Monk Seals!

    Like many sea-dwelling mammals, Hawaiian monk seals are finding it nearly impossible to live in and around an ocean that has been raped, pillaged, polluted, and generally used as a landfill-cum-toilet by humanity since the halcyon days of the Industrial Revolution.

  • Beef and Oil

    Yes, that thing that looks like Earth’s gaping, bleeding asshole is a half-mile-by-half-mile runoff pool of cow shit and piss. It’s from Mishka’s new series, which consists of mega-high-resolution composite satellite images of cattle farms and oil fields (mostly in the American S…

  • Cowards Are Blackmailing Young Women to Death on the Internet

    The most despicable corners of the internet house a byzantine network devoted to sharing screen-captured images of naked—and often underage—girls. And quite a few of these individuals get off on manipulating, blackmailing, and shaming the young women they encounter.

  • America's Congress Is Cracking Up

    The main issue facing the United States isn’t that the bad guys are in control of the government, it’s that the government—in particular, Congress—can’t get anything done. Or won’t, same difference.

  • Running on Empty

    Mother Nature is one bad bitch who can shake Homo sapiens off her topsoil like a nasty case of dandruff. In recognition of this inevitable outcome, we asked our international offices to find out what resources their countries were running out of the fastest.

  • Guns in the Sun

    There are 270 million legal guns in the US. Regardless of where you stand on the issue of firearms laws, you might say that the situation presents a wicked problem—something that can’t be objectively solved or even described.

  • Diseases Are Smarter Than Our Meds

    Because I’m an obsessive hypochondriac, I had to know more about this impending biological disaster so that I can spend the interim wallowing in the comfort of a constant state of panic. To help me get there, I spoke with Rachel Nugent.

  • A Free Show on Skid Row

    Skid Row is not just a hack 80s hair band, or a fabled place of destitution. It’s an actual neighborhood in Los Angeles where real people live. Not that most of LA would know.

  • How Are We Gonna Die?

    Stuart Armstrong is a research fellow at the Future of Humanity Institute at the University of Oxford, where he’s been on a mission to gauge what sort of doom might befall mankind.

  • The Right to Die Is the Right to Live

    One month before his 18th birthday, my son Wolf was thrilled to receive invitations from galleries in Melbourne and New York City to exhibit his paintings. The bad news is that the showings are scheduled for the summer of 2013. Wolf may not be alive then.

  • Have Animals Declared War On Us?

    For millennia, humans have been wreaking havoc on animals. And now it appears that animals are striking back. So, I interviewed James Donahue, who believes the uptick in animal attacks is an omen to the "end of days."

  • Records

    Imagine calling up your old boy Billie Joe to see whether he wants to see a movie and his 40-year-old ass shows up late, looking like an Avril Lavigne flesh costume and asking whether you had a chance to listen to his demo for “Fuck Time” yet.

  • Doomed

    Photos by Bryan Derballa. Styling and Creative Director: Annette Lamothe-Ramos.

  • Don’t Get Caught

    When I take a serious look around, it dawns on me how much wasted potential there is in prison, how many people are living with regrets who will never have a chance to make good on them. It’s way too late.