The Holy Trinity Issue

The Cute Show Page!

Baby Camels

We admit, we’re not huge fans of camels. At first glance, they look like disabled, lumpy horses (and horses are quite frightening to begin with, unless they’re miniature). Full story

The Genesis of ‘The Sugar Frosted Nutsack’

Mark Leyner's latest novel sticks out like an infected, throbbing appendage compared to the seemingly endless crop of mopey, self-important novels these days. Full story

A Bear and His Cub

Photos by Nico Stinghe, Styling by Marie Claude-Guay Full story

Toupee

The Grand Finale

The final chapter of Brett Gelman's novel about murder and baldness. Full story

Paintballing with Hezbollah

Is the Path Straight to Their Hearts

We figured they’d cheat; they were Hezbollah, after all. But none of us—a team of four Western journalists—thought we’d be dodging military-grade flash bangs when we initiated this. Full story

Bob Odenkirk’s Page

Let Trump SMLLC improve the Central Park Sheep Meadow! Full story

Submerged in Sammy

Floating Neck-Deep in the Juices of the Red Rocker

Judging by the look of utter confusion on most people’s faces when I make a Sammy Hagar joke, I’m fairly certain that most folks under the age of 30 don’t know shit about the “Red Rocker.” Full story

In Broad Daylight

Photos by Bruce Gilden, Styling by Annette Lamothe-Ramos Full story

Fuck Winter

Photos and styling by Petra Collins. Full story

We Can’t Get High Like We Used To

When Drugs Were Legal in Mexico, and Why They Aren’t Now

When I party in Mexico City, I notice that my friends feel guilty for doing lines because they can’t avoid thinking that it is contributing to Mexico’s drug war. Full story

A Borderline Crisis

Greece Has Had It Up to Here with Illegal Immigrants

I grew up in Athens, and it’s been heartbreaking to witness the city’s transformation from the booming cultural metropolis of my childhood to ground zero of Greece’s financial apocalypse. Full story

Skinema

California Anal Girls

As a young child I remember being told all girls in Hollywood take it in the ass and not believing it. Then I moved there and confirmed it to be true. I don’t think I had lived in Los Angeles Full story

I’ve Got an Alien in My Head

Silvio Berlusconi’s Fortune Teller Predicts a Bleak Future

After arriving in Italy from Bulgaria 28 years ago to work as an au pair, Teodora Stefanova soon became known for her psychic powers. Full story

Sheppard’s Video Game Pie

Star Wars: The Old Republic

For those unaware, this is the new Star Wars MMORPG. It’s Electronic Arts’ attempt at competing with World of Warcraft, a game I never got into but that everyone else on the planet seems to play. Full story

Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’

Pretending to Be Handicapped for a Day

My brother has hemiplegic cerebral palsy, and he’s a total dick about it. For two decades I’ve been secretly jealous of him yearning for all that extra attention. Full story

Records

There's a lot of music to be listened and not listened to this month (Dan Melchior and Bowerbirds, respectfully). Full story

Men in Funny Hats Still Rule the World

Adam Parfrey Knows All About the Nutters in Secret Societies

Adam Parfrey has spent the past 20 years amassing a huge collection of Masonic ephemera. VICE was lucky enough to interview him and get a preview of his new book, “Ritual America.” Full story

Comics

The Hobo Enquirer

Who's molesting the great hobos of Europe? Full story

The Loneliest Cowboy in the World

Plumbing the Isolated Depths of Chilean Patagonia

Faustino Barrientos has spent most of his 81 years in isolation. He works as a gaucho—the horse-riding shepherds of the harsh southern swath known as Patagonia. Full story

The Holy Trinity Issue Hath Descended

The heavens rejoice as The Holy Trinity Issue is now upon us. Full story

DILDO! DILDO! DILDO! DILDO!

The unforeseen consequences of putting DILDO on your magazine's cover. Full story