When you’re born with a windpipe as thick as a Ninja Turtle’s, your throat is your only erogenous zone, no lover you ever have will be able to fully please you, and it doesn’t take long before you can’t feel anything at all.


I know we’re post-everything these days, but I refuse to acknowledge whatever this is as a valid sexuality. What is he supposed to want to fuck? A boulder wearing an LED necklace?